From Afar
by egoofy34
Summary: After she went undercover in Colorado Emily changed...Did more happen than Emily is letting on? Will her relationship with JJ survive or will she push her away? JJ/Emily.. Slightly OOC Emily.... READ AND REVIEW... Chapter 17 posted 05/28/09
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Okay so this is a new story..... This idea came from a friend of mine who wanted more drama..... as usual I don't own Criminal Minds...

Summary- After the undercover operation in Colorado Emily changed.... Is Emily telling everyone the truth of what happened???? Will her relationship with JJ be able to survive or will Emily push her away???? Emily/JJ.... If you don't like don't read..... slightly OOC Emily.....

Chapter 1.....

JJ laid in bed alone and stared at the clock. It was particularly screaming 1am. JJ felt the tears stinging her eyes in what was becoming a nightly routine for her. She rolled over and looked at the empty bed next to her and let the tears fall. She ran her hand across the pillow, the pillow that still smelled like her lover although it had been several weeks since Emily had slept there.

Once the happy couple; things changed after Emily was held captive and beaten while trying to protect Reid in that religious cult compound. Emily became quiet and retreated into herself. That had been three months ago and JJ wasn't sure how much more she could take. JJ eventually cried herself to sleep dreaming of better memories, better times.

Meanwhile across town; Emily ordered another beer. Always one to use alcohol to ease the pain of the job; it had become progressively worse since the day in Colorado. Not even JJ's love and affection were enough anymore. Everyday was a struggle. The more cases they had, the harder it got and the more alcohol it took to make it go away. Then a month ago, Emily did something that she never thought she was capable of doing. She cheated on the one person that used to mean everything to her. The one person that could always make things better. A month ago she found some nameless blonde and allowed herself to cave to the temptation. It was in that moment of alcohol and sex that Emily found peace. It may have only lasted a few short minutes but it was there and it was that feeling that Emily began to crave. So here she was again looking for that feeling. Never once in her drunk induced haze did she think of going home to her wife of two years. All she could think about was finding someone to ease her pain and in her mind JJ was not the one to do that. It was much simpler to close off her heart than to allow her self to feel that pain that was there; because being with JJ met opening her heart and she couldn't allow that to happen. It was much better this way, or at least that was what Emily had convinced herself.

Emily looked down at yet another empty beer glass and nodded for the bartender to bring her another. With another beer firmly in her grasp she turned around to survey the crowd. Looking for the one person that would ease her pain tonight. Emily saw exactly what she was looking for sitting at one of the corner tables alone. _Perfect Emily thought to herself before quickly downing the fresh beer._ She slammed the mug down on the bar and quickly stood up. Giving herself a minute to allow the room to stop spinning, she eventually made her way across the room.

"Hey." Emily smiled as she walked up to the woman in question. "I'm Emily." Emily said as she looked the woman from head to toe. The woman was blonde, always a requirement, and absolutely stunning. Emily's eyes lingered on certain attributes a little longer than they should have but she didn't care. The woman, who also noticed where Emily's eyes were focused immediately blushed.

"See something you like?" She laughed.

"Oh very much so." Emily grinned, finally making her way back up to the woman's face.

"I'm Lisa by the way." Lisa patted the seat next to her to which Emily immediately sat down.

"Nice to meet you Lisa. You here by yourself?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, my friends ditched me." Lisa giggled, a clear indication that she was a little drunk herself.

"Well their loss is my gain I guess." Emily smiled as she ran her finger down Lisa's arm.

"Seems that way." Lisa replied taking another sip her drink.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Emily asked suddenly not wanting to wait any longer. She needed release, she needed to feel that peace that came with was about to happen.

"My apartment is just around the corner."

"Perfect." Emily said with a wicked grin and grabbed Lisa's hand. "Lead the way."

Ten minutes later Emily was standing rather impatiently outside Lisa's door waiting for Lisa to find the right key. Emily was getting desperate and was sure that if Lisa didn't find that key soon she just might be forced to take her right here in the hallway. Then as if her prayers had been answered Lisa opened the door and she pulled Emily inside. Emily found herself pushed rather forcefully up against the door and barely had time to react to Lisa as Emily saw her lips coming towards her. Emily quickly dodged the kiss, forcing Lisa's lips her to her neck instead; not that Lisa seemed to care. Deep down inside Emily knew the reason why she never let anyone kiss her. Deep down inside she knew it was because they wouldn't taste like JJ's. They wouldn't be as soft as JJ's and it was just easier to not have to deal with those memories. Lisa ripped Emily's tank top off and then made quick work of her bra. Emily groaned as Lisa's lips found her breast. This was the feeling that Emily needed, the feeling that she had been waiting for.

Several hours and several erotic moments later Emily extracted herself from the naked blonde beside her and went in search of her clothes. She glanced at her watch and groaned when she saw what time it was. It was 3:20am and she and JJ's alarm would be going off in three hours. Emily gathered the rest of her clothes, redressed and made the short drive home.

Emily pulled into the driveway twenty minutes later, barely missing JJ's car. JJ heard the front door open and knew that Emily was home, but she also knew like all the other nights she wouldn't be joining JJ in their bed. JJ listened as Emily stumbled through the house and then heard the door to the guest bedroom slam shut. Once again JJ let the tears fall. Emily collapsed into bed, not even bothering to change clothes. Whether it was from the alcohol or exhaustion Emily didn't know but within minutes she was asleep.

The next morning JJ woke up to the alarm and a still empty bed. JJ got up and proceeded to get ready for the day. Having been through this every morning for the past several weeks she knew that it was best to let Emily sleep as long as she could. JJ knew that Emily needed help, but she didn't have a clue what to do. Until Emily admitted she had a problem there was really nothing she could do. What JJ didn't know though was that there was more to these late nights than just alcohol. JJ got dressed and then made her way to the guest bedroom. She knocked once and then slowly opened the door. The whole room reeked of alcohol.

"Emily honey, its time to get up." JJ said as she stood by the door. All she got in response was a grunt. "We have to be at the office, so you…"

"I know damn well where we need to be. " Emily mumbled; her face still buried in the pillow. "I don't need you to remind me that we have to go to work." JJ sighed and left the room.

Twenty minutes later, Emily found her way to the kitchen, looking only slightly better. At least she still didn't smell of alcohol.

"I made you some coffee." JJ said as he placed a cup in front of her, along with two aspirin.

"Thanks." Emily half-heartedly mumbled. Emily downed the aspirin and took a long drink of the coffee. Both women sat there in silence, each knowing what needed to be said but neither having the guts to say.

"We have an appointment with Dr. Williams today." JJ finally said; hoping that mentioning the prospect of their future child might help. Six months ago Emily surprised JJ by suggesting that they have a baby. It was possibly that happiest moment in JJ's life.

_Flashback…_

_JJ and Emily walked hand in hand through the park on a nice spring day. There were kids everywhere, happily enjoying the warm weather. They made their way to a bench and sat down. Emily wrapped her arm around JJ's shoulder and pulled JJ close. JJ rested her head on Emily's shoulder as they watched the activity in the park. _

_"You know I've been thinking," Emily said after several seconds of silence. "What do you think about us having a baby?" JJ's head jerked up from Emily's shoulder as she stared in the eyes of her girlfriend._

_"Are you serious?" _

_"Yes, I think we should start a family." _

_"Wow, I don't know what to say." JJ replied still in shock. _

_"I want us to have a baby. I want to see you glowing and pregnant. I want all the crazy cravings and mood swings that go with it." Emily smiled. _

_"I'm sorry baby, but you know that I can't have kids." JJ frowned as tears threatened to fall. _

_"Just because your eggs aren't any good, doesn't mean we can't have kids. My eggs are perfectly fine." Emily said as she wiped away the stray tear that fell._

_"So your egg in my womb?" JJ asked as she put her hand over her belly. "It's perfect." JJ smiled and pulled Emily into a kiss._

However, now it was six months later and JJ was about to undergo her third treatment. With all that had transpired JJ wasn't sure if it was still such a good idea, but part of her wanted to believe that if this treatment worked that Emily would change. She would have to, there was no other option.

"Yeah well, I don't think I can make it." Emily said as she finished the coffee. "I have a lot of paper work to do."

"Well it's not until 3 and I'm sure Hotch…"

"I said I couldn't!" Emily yelled as she stood up and grabbed her keys. "I have an errand to run, I'll meet you at work." Emily said as she slammed the front door.

A/N- So that is chapter one..... PLEASE REVIEW.... I am really nervous about this story.... so please let me know what you think.... good or bad I would love to hear from you....


	2. Chapter 2

A/N—Wow … thanks so much for the wonderful reviews and words of encouragement… I was really worried about this story… it is so different from anything I have written before. So thanks again….

Chapter 2.....

JJ arrived at work on forty five minutes later and was shocked to see Emily was already there. She was sitting at her desk listening to Morgan's latest story with just a hint of a smile on her face. It still amazed JJ how things were different at work. JJ often thought that Emily deserved the Oscar for some of her acting abilities. JJ knew the reason why. It was the same reason Reid had hid his drug problem.

JJ simply shook her head as she turned towards Emily's desk. It often amazed her how for a group of profilers could be completely blind to what was right in front of them, well that was except for Morgan.

"Hey JJ." Morgan smiled as she approached them.

"Hey Morgan." JJ plastered on a fake smile. "Hey honey, you forgot this." JJ said as she put Emily's badge on her desk. In Emily's rush to flee the house this morning she had forgotten it.

"Thanks." Emily said quietly.

"So you two excited about today?" Morgan asked. "You think it will take this time?" Ever since Emily and JJ had told Morgan they were trying to have a baby, Morgan was over the moon. The thought of becoming an uncle was almost too much for him. JJ and Emily were his best friends and their happiness meant everything to him.

"I hope so." JJ smiled.

"Excuse me." Emily said as she stood up. "I need some more coffee." JJ watched with sad eyes as Emily walked towards the break room.

"Everything okay JJ?" Morgan asked as he stood up beside JJ. Although Emily was a pretty good actress, Morgan knew something was wrong by the look in JJ's eyes. He had known JJ for a long time and to him she was as much a sister to him as his real sisters.

"Yeah, everything is…" JJ stopped when she looked at Morgan's face. He was giving her the 'don't lie to me' look. "I just don't know Morgan. I just don't know." JJ said as a tear escaped her eye.

"Look I think we both know that Emily has a problem, but until she can admit it there is nothing we can do." Morgan said as he wiped the tear from JJ's cheek.

"It's just…. Something happened in the compound Morgan and it breaks my heart to know that she won't tell me." JJ allowed herself to be wrapped up in Morgan's arms.

"I know honey. I know." Morgan said quietly. "Is she going with you to the doctor today?" Morgan asked and JJ shook her head. "Do you want me to come?"

"No, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Morgan asked he let her go. "Because I don't mind."

"I know you don't but really it's fine." JJ offered another fake smile.

"Okay, well if you change your mind you know were to find me." Morgan gave JJ a quick kiss on the forehead and JJ turned to go back to her office. Morgan watched his friend walk away in silence. He really hoped that Emily figured out how to handle what she was going through and soon, because he wasn't sure JJ was going to hang around that much longer; she couldn't and if and when JJ left what little strength Emily had left would crumble.

Later that afternoon JJ sat in one of the examination rooms waiting for Dr. Williams to come in.

"Hello JJ, how are you this afternoon?" Dr. Williams asked a few minutes later as she walked into the room.

"I'm good." JJ half smiled.

"Emily not joining us today?" Dr. Williams asked, a little surprised to see Emily not there.

"No she is….busy at work. She couldn't get off. She was really upset that she couldn't be here, but such is the life of an FBI Agent." JJ lied to the doctor. Now Dr. Williams was a smart woman, her medical degree was a testament to that. So she knew that JJ was lying. When she first met JJ and Emily six months ago, Emily had been a permanent fixture beside JJ; asking numerous questions, almost to the point of driving the good doctor insane. Then about three months ago, something changed. Although she would still come with JJ to all of the appointments, she no longer asked questions. Rather she sat quietly in the chair and she no longer held JJ's hand during the examinations.

"Is everything okay? I don't mean to pry, but is everything okay with you and Agent Prentiss?" Dr. Williams asked. JJ wasn't sure how to respond. "Cause you know that it's not too late to stop this. Maybe wait a little bit."

"NO!" JJ said louder and quicker than she should have. "I mean no. We both still want this. We both need this." JJ said with all honesty. Again, Dr. Williams knew there was more to the story, but she decided not to push it.

"Okay, than. Let's get you prepped for the procedure."

Three hours later, JJ left the doctors office and made her way home. The whole way home she prayed that this time the procedure would take. She was convinced that a baby would be what Emily needed to bring herself out of this funk.

JJ walked into the dark house and sat her purse and keys down on the table. She walked into the living room and found Emily sitting on the couch watching the television. The coffee table in front of her was covered in beer bottles. JJ sighed and turned to leave.

"Where the hell have you been?" Emily asked as she jumped up from the couch.

"I had a doctor's appointment today, remember?" JJ replied, turning back to face Emily. JJ expected Emily to say something, but what happened instead she had not anticipated. Before JJ knew it Emily had pushed her, rather forcefully up against the living room wall. Emily's lips crashed down onto JJ's in an extremely sloppy kiss. Emily's breath reeked of alcohol and it was all JJ could do to not gag. "Emily stop." JJ managed to say as she pushed Emily off of her.

"What? Come on baby you know you want it." Emily smirked; her once brown eyes almost black. Emily moved towards JJ again and before JJ could react Emily had ripped her shirt open. Emily grabbed JJ's breast so hard that JJ cried out in pain. Though it never phased Emily as she moved in for another sloppy kiss. It wasn't until JJ felt Emily bite her lip that she used all of her strength to push Emily off again. "What the fuck?" Emily snapped as JJ brushed her fingers across her lips. She pulled them back and was shocked to see blood.

"You're drunk and I'm sore." JJ snapped back as she continued to stare at the blood on her fingers. "I had a doctors appointment today right now the last thing I want is sex! Especially not sex like this." JJ yelled as she pointed to her bloody lip. Emily looked at the blood that was trickling down from JJ's lip and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Her mind told her to beg for forgiveness but her mouth refused to cooperate. Emily continued to stare at JJ and what she saw in JJ's eyes terrified her. She saw fear. JJ was afraid of her. In that moment JJ was scared of what Emily might do and that was almost too much for Emily to handle.

"Fine you know what, screw you!" Emily yelled as she grabbed her keys and stormed out of the house. Once outside Emily pulled a card out of her pocket and quickly dialed the number. She waited for the voice on the other end to say hello. "Hey Lisa, its Emily. You know from last night?.... yeah exactly….. you mind if I come over?.... great see you a 15 minutes." Emily closed her phone and peeled out of the driveway.

Back inside, JJ cringed as she heard the front door slam shut. Tears began to fall almost immediately. JJ grabbed her shirt and pulled it tightly across her chest; she slid down the wall and began crying hysterically.

A/N-Okay so I know that this is a little shorter than most of my stories, but that just seemed like a good stopping point….. PLEASE REVIEW…..


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Thanks to everyone who reviewed..... Here is the next chapter.... Just a little more drama.....

Chapter 3......

The next five weeks went much like the previous weeks. Emily would either stay home and drink till she passed out on the couch or she would go out and not get home until the wee hours of the morning. JJ found herself staying late at work just to avoid any type of confrontation; although after the 'incident' as JJ referred to it, Emily hadn't said more than ten words to her.

Emily had gotten home particularly late the night before (or early that morning depending on how you looked at it) and had called in sick. JJ had of course covered for her with Hotch, when Hotch asked how she felt. JJ told him that Emily had the flu but should be better soon. Hotch, having no reason to doubt the media liaison, offered his well wishes and then headed to his office.

Around mid afternoon, JJ allowed her mind to drift to Emily. How happy they had once been. JJ knew something happened in the compound and although Emily had never admitted it, JJ was pretty sure she knew what it was. It absolutely broke JJ's heart that Emily would not confide in her. That Emily felt the need to deal with this on her own; if you could call drinking like a sailor on shore leave dealing with the problem. A tear slide down JJ's cheek as she thought back to the day that Emily had first asked her out.

_Flashback…_

_"Hey JJ you got a minute?" Emily asked as she stuck her head into JJ's office. _

_"Sure, what's up?" JJ said with a smile that could bring Emily to her knees. _

_"Well I've been thinking and…. Well…." Emily took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. "Do you think maybe, you know if you want to….it could be fun….but only if you want…"Emily was making a complete fool of herself. _

_"Emily, slow down." Emily took another deep breath and JJ struggled to contain her laughter. She knew exactly what Emily was trying to ask but it was fun to watch her squirm. "Why don't you try that again?"_

_"Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?" Emily said so quickly that she wasn't even sure JJ understood her. _

_"Like as in a date?" JJ asked with raised eyebrows and suddenly Emily began to panic. _

_"Oh my god. I totally got this wrong didn't I? Oh my god JJ I'm so sorry." Emily turned fire engine red as she began to think that maybe she had misread the whole situation. The thought of asking out her straight friend was humiliating. Emily turned to make a quick exit when she felt JJ grab her hand. _

_"Emily wait." JJ said with a hint of laughter. "Would you calm down, you look like you are about to pass out." JJ led Emily over to the couch. _

_"I'm so sorry JJ. I would never have asked you out if I had realized you were straight. I'm…" Emily was cut off by JJ's lips crashing down on hers. After what felt like a lifetime, they both pulled away breathless. _

_"Who said I was straight?" JJ teased. _

_"Your not?" JJ shook her head. "But you acted so shocked that I ask you out?" _

_"Well I was shocked, because I have been waiting for you to ask me out for a long time now." JJ smiled. "Plus it was fun watching you squirm." JJ laughed._

_"Oh you think that is funny do you?" Emily smiled as she pulled JJ in for another kiss. _

JJ wiped the tears away as she went back to work. A few minutes later JJ's cell phone rang.

"Agent Jereau." JJ said as she answered her phone.

"Good afternoon JJ, this is Dr. Williams. I have some good news."

"Are you saying that I'm…."

"Congratulations. You're pregnant." JJ immediately began to cry, only this time they were happy tears.

"OH my god this is amazing. I'm going to be a mother."

"Yes you are. You both are." Dr. Williams replied, genuinely happy for the two women. "I would like you to come in two weeks for a check up and I will send you prescription for pre natal vitamins. Make sure you get lots of rest and I will see you in two weeks."

"Thank you Dr. Williams. Thank you so much." JJ closed her phone and quickly dialed Hotch. She asked for and was granted the rest of the afternoon off. JJ wanted to tell Emily as soon as possible, so she grabbed her keys and made a bee line for the elevator.

JJ walked into the house and it was quiet; too quiet. Thinking Emily was still asleep she made her way up the guest bedroom, or Emily's room as it known now. JJ was cloud nine as she walked up the steps. However, when she reached the top, she heard something that made her heart stop. JJ slowly made her way towards the door to the guest bedroom and the moans got louder. JJ keep telling herself that made Emily was having a bad dream but in her heart she knew that was lie.

"God fuck me harder Lisa. Harder!" JJ heard come through the door. _No, no, no this can't be happening, JJ mumbled to herself. _JJ reached for the door knob as she heard Emily scream another woman's name. JJ threw the door open and in a brief moment she saw her wife's legs wrapped around a blonde woman's head. It only took Emily a second to realize that JJ was standing there and quickly the two women sprung apart.

"How could you?" JJ asked as the tears threatened to fall. The mystery woman grabbed the sheet and quickly covered herself. "HOW COULD YOU?" JJ yelled.

"JJ sweetie…" Emily started but was quickly cut off.

"DON'T YOU DARE SWEETIE ME!" JJ spat. "You won't sleep with me, but you'll fuck her?" JJ yelled. Emily didn't know what to say. "How long?" How long have you been fucking that whore?" JJ yelled as she pointed to the other woman.

"It's not what you think." Emily pleaded. "She's just some woman; it means nothing. I swear."

"Nothing!" Lisa replied. "Five weeks is far from nothing."

"Five weeks?" JJ yelled. "You have been cheating on me for five weeks?" Emily didn't say a word. "Is she the only one?" Again Emily remained silent. "Oh my god." Emily's silence spoke volumes. "I think I'm going to be sick." JJ put her hand over her mouth and ran back downstairs to the master bathroom where she proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach.

"So nothing uhn?" Lisa asked after JJ bolted from the room.

"NOT NOW LISA." Emily said harshly.

"And who the hell was that?" Lisa asked, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer; Emily couldn't bring herself to say the words. "Fine you know what; next time you want to get laid call someone else." Lisa said as she grabbed her clothes and left the room. Emily picked a vase that was sitting on the dresser and hurled it towards the wall. The sound of the vase smashing against the wall was masked by Lisa slamming the front door. Emily slumped down to the floor as the realization of what had just happened began to don on her.

A few minutes later, Emily managed to get dressed and made her way towards the master bedroom; where she found the door locked. She could hear JJ crying on the other side.

"JJ, open the door."

"Like hell.'" JJ yelled.

"Damn it JJ open the door." Emily said banging on the door. This time JJ didn't respond but rather got off the bed and began grabbing some clothes and other essential items.

After twenty minutes Emily gave up and went to the kitchen to get a beer. She had just opened the bottle when JJ came out of the room with a bag over her shoulder.

"Where do you think you are going?" Emily asked; eyeing the bag.

"I'm leaving." JJ said as she looked at the bottle in Emily's hand.

"Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know yet, but I can't stay here." JJ said as a tear escaped her eye.

"Stay. Have a drink." Emily held up the bottle. "We can work this out."

"That is your solution to everything anymore, isn't it?" Emily looked back at JJ confused. "Drinking is the not going to solve the problem. I know that something happened in the compound…"

"You don't know shit." Emily spat.

"That's because you won't tell me!" JJ fired back. "You need help Emily; with whatever happened in that compound, with the drinking… I'm just sorry I couldn't be the one to help you. I know you're hurting. I get that… but what you did this afternoon… I can't forgive for you for that. I can't pretend any more. I'm leaving Emily." JJ didn't give Emily a chance to respond before she quickly left the house. It took Emily a minute to realize that she gone. As she heard the car backing out of the drive way Emily through her beer bottle against the wall.

JJ drove around for four hours not really knowing where to go or what do. She thought about a hotel but she didn't want to be alone. After careful consideration she decided where to go. She made her way to apartment 4C and knocked on the door. She could hear movement on the other side.

"JJ?" Morgan asked as he opened the door. "What are you doing here?" Morgan looked at her and noticed the dark circles under her eyes and her tear stained cheeks. "JJ what's wrong?"

"Can I stay with you for a while?" JJ asked as she picked up her bag.

"Sure." Morgan led JJ into the apartment. "What happened?" Morgan asked as they sat down on the couch.

"I can't take it any more." JJ said quietly.

"Oh sweetie it's okay; I understand." Morgan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Almost immediately JJ broke; silent tears turned to heavy sobs. Morgan knew there was more to the story than JJ had told him and he knew that when she was ready she would tell him. Morgan knew this day was coming; JJ may be a strong person but even she had her limits. "JJ you can stay here as long as you like." Morgan as he continued to rub comforting circles on JJ's back.

A/N- So what did you think????? PLEASE REVIEW.....


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Okay so here is the next chapter... I hope everyone is still enjoying this..... because after I just did a rough outline... this is going to be a long story....

Chapter 4..........

The next morning JJ work up to the smell of pancakes drifting through the apartment. It took her a while to remember where she was, but soon the events of the night before came flooding back to her. She wiped a stray tear away and made her way to the kitchen where Morgan was busy what JJ assumed were blueberry pancakes, her favorite.

"Good morning JJ." Morgan smiled as JJ walked in.

"Morning." JJ half smiled as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"I thought maybe you could do with a homemade breakfast and I know how much you love blueberry pancakes."

"You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"It was no trouble. I had all the ingredients." Morgan said as he flipped the last pancake. "I made bacon as well." Morgan pulled the plate of bacon out of the oven, where he was keeping it warm and he placed it on the table in front of JJ. Almost immediately the smell caused JJ's stomach to churn. JJ jumped up, threw her hand over her mouth and bolted for the bathroom. Morgan stood there in shock for a second not really sure what had just happened. Morgan made his way to the bathroom where he found JJ empting the contents of her stomach. Morgan kneeled down behind her and pulled her hair out of her face. He ran his hand up and down her spine while JJ clung to the toilet. "Are you okay?" Morgan asked after JJ reached up and flushed the contents of the bowl away. JJ shook her head and the tears began to fall again. "Come here sweetie." Morgan pulled JJ back to him and wrapped his arms around her tightly. They had been sitting there for what seemed like forever when JJ finally broke through the silence.

"She cheated on me." JJ said out of the blue.

"Oh JJ I'm so sorry." Morgan didn't know what else to say. To say that he was shocked was an understatement. He knew that Emily was having problems, but he never thought that she was the type of person to have an affair; especially not after everything they went through with Struass to be able to be together.

"And I'm pregnant." JJ said so softly that Morgan wasn't sure he had heard her correctly.

"I'm sorry did you say you are pregnant?"

"I found out yesterday." JJ said as she let her hand drift down to her still flat belly. "That is why I left work early. I wanted to surprise Emily. However, I guess it was me who got the surprise, uhn?" JJ said with a smirk and Morgan pulled her closer. "I found her in the guest bedroom with some blonde woman having sex. Apparently it's been going on for a while now." JJ said as another tear fell. "How could she?"

"I don't know JJ, I really don't. I wish I had the answers for you." Morgan said as he brushed a few stray hairs from JJ's face. "But just know that you are welcome to stay here as long as you like. You are not alone in this." Morgan told her as he placed his hand over top of hers which was still resting on her belly.

"Thank you Morgan." JJ said a half smile.

"Well clearly I think bacon is off the menu for a while," Morgan said and JJ laughed, "but how about some pancakes? Because now that I know about little peanut here, you really need to eat something."

"Pancakes sound good." JJ said as she and Morgan stood up.

Meanwhile across town, Emily woke up to a pounding headache. She looked around the living room. It was littered with beer bottles and broken glass. The events of the previous night came rushing back to her, only making her headache worse. She walked to the kitchen and made her some coffee and took some aspirin. As she stood there something on the counter caught her eye. She hadn't even noticed it yesterday. She hadn't even seen JJ take it off. There sitting on the counter was JJ's wedding band. The one that Emily had made especially for them. She looked at the ring and then down at hers. She clenched the ring in her fist and slammed into the kitchen wall. She wasn't sure how she was going to fix them, or even if she could. She opened up the phone book and looked up the number for the nearest floriest; but then the realization that she didn't know where JJ was at. So she called the one woman she knew would know.

"Hello." Garcia said as she answered her phone.

"Garica, It's Emily. Is JJ there with you?"

"No, of course not. Why would she be here?" Garcia asked confused and slightly worried.

"Look I just want to talk to her." Emily said, assuming that Garcia was covering for her friend.

"Emily I promise you, JJ is not here. What is going on? Is JJ okay?" Garcia could here Emily groan through the phone.

"We had a small fight last night and she left."

"Well I promise you she is not here." Emily could tell that Garcia was telling her the truth and like a light bulb went off she knew exactly where JJ was staying. Emily apologized to Garcia and then quickly said bye, leaving a very confused Garcia still on the line.

After breakfast, JJ helped Morgan clean up and they both went to the living room to relax on the couch. It didn't take long for JJ to drift off to sleep with her head laying on Morgan's lap. Morgan was content to sit there and watch his friend sleep. She looked so peaceful, the complete opposite of what she looked like not more then a few hours ago. Morgan was snapped out of his thoughts when his phone rang.

"This is Morgan." He said answering his phone.

"Hey my chocolate god." Garcia smiled into the phone. "I just had a very bizarre phone call from Emily."

"Let me guess, was it about the whereabouts of a certain blonde media liaison who is currently sleeping on the couch with her head in my lap?" Morgan asked as he looked down at JJ.

"Oh really, should I be jealous?" Garcia teased into the phone.

"Oh honey, you know you are the only woman for me." Morgan laughed. "Plus I fairly certain that I'm not JJ's type."

"Speaking of JJ, what is going on?" Garcia asked. "Emily called asking if she was here with me. She said they had a small fight and that JJ left."

"A small fight?" Morgan frowned. "Well I think Emily needs to think about that fight again."

"Morgan what is going on?"

"JJ left her." Morgan told Garcia, knowing that JJ would be okay with her knowing. Plus this would save JJ the pain of telling Garcia herself. Although he did make a mental note not to tell Garcia about the baby, because he wasn't sure JJ was ready for that yet.

"She left her? Why what happened?"

"Emily really hasn't been herself since the whole Colorado incident. She's been drinking; a lot." Morgan told Garcia. "And then yesterday JJ caught Emily cheating on her. So she left."

"Oh my girl." Garcia gasped into the phone. "How is she doing?"

"She's hanging in there. She is going to be staying here with me for a while."

"Okay well that is good. You take care of her you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am." Morgan laughed.

"I'm not kidding Morgan, that woman is like a sister to me. I would hate to have to hurt you." Garcia laughed. "Tell JJ to call me when she wakes up." Morgan said he would then ended the call. Morgan looked down at the sleeping JJ once more and sighed. _How could Emily have been so dumb? Morgan asked himself. _

JJ woke up about an hour later, still laying in Morgan's lap. She looked at the television which was on mute and then up at Morgan.

"You could have turned the sound on you know." JJ said as she sat up.

"I didn't want to wake you, plus it's just basketball, don't really need sound to follow along." Morgan teased. "Garcia called. Told me have you call when you woke up." JJ nodded as she thought about that phone call. She knew form the look Morgan gave her that he had told Garcia what had happened; so that wasn't the problem. Now she just had to decided on whether or not to tell her about he baby just yet. JJ was just about to dial Garcia when there was a knock at the door.

Morgan opened the front door and saw a man standing there hold a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Can I help you?" Morgan asked.

"I have a delivery for an Agent Jennifer Jereau." The man replied reading the name off his delivery list. JJ came down the hallway a few seconds later after having heard her name. "Here you go ma'am. " The man said as he handed JJ the flowers. Morgan signed the delivery log and closed the door.

JJ took the card off and read it out loud.

"Dear Jennifer, I'm so sorry. Please come home. Love Emily." JJ tossed the card on the counter and sighed. "Well I guess that solves everything." JJ said looking at the flowers.

"JJ…" Morgan started but was cut off.

"Don't Morgan. Please don't. I can't forgive her for this. I'm not sure I can ever trust her again." JJ said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"I understand." Morgan said pulling JJ into a hug.

"Can you do me a favor?" JJ asked a few minutes later.

"Anything."

"First of all can you get rid of these flowers and second of all I need some of my stuff and I don't want to go back to that house right now."

"Consider it done. You make a list of what you need and I will just take these next door to Mrs. Andrews. She's been a little down since her husband passed away a couple months ago. They should brighten her day."  
"I like that idea very much." JJ said with a slight smile.

Twenty minutes later, Morgan walked back into his apartment.

"Good lord that woman likes to talk." Morgan laughed. "She said she was sorry to hear about your situation but she said thank you for the flowers and that once little peanut is born she would be happy to watch him or her." JJ offered a smile, a real smile. "So you have you list ready." JJ nodded and handed the list to Morgan.

Thirty minutes later Morgan was knocking on Emily's door. He took a deep breath and waited. The door flew open and from the look on Emily's face she had been hoping it was JJ.

"Morgan, what are you doing here?"

"I came to pick up some of JJ's stuff." He held up the list. Emily just stared back in shock. "Come on Emily don't make this harder than it needs to be." Emily moved aside and let Morgan in. Morgan went straight to the bedroom and quickly found the things that JJ had put on the list.

"She's really not coming home is she?" Emily asked when Morgan came back into the living to grab JJ's lap top.

"No, she isn't."

"Did she get my flowers?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Did you really think that was going to solve everything?" Emily just stood there. "I mean, damn it Emily, you cheated on her. How could you?" Again Emily said nothing. "I'm not going to stand here and pretend like I understand what you are going through, but I am going to stand here as your friend and tell you the truth. You screwed up. You took the best thing that ever happened to you and you threw it away." Morgan opened the front door and then turned back around. "I'll be back for the rest of JJ's stuff later." And with that Morgan left.

Emily immediately went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer. After downing the beer she made her way to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the Tequila. She needed to pain to go away and fast.

A/N- PLEASE REVIEW.... let me know what you think....


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Okay so here is the next chapter, again some more drama to keep the streak going… lol….. Just a reminder to those of you who are reading this…. I'm a firm believer in happy endings, so just keep that in the back of your mind…. so fear not….

Chapter 5…..

Over the next three weeks Morgan and JJ feel into a nice routine. Morgan made sure JJ ate like she was suppose to and also made sure she went to bed a reasonable time. Although slightly annoyed at times, JJ was glad to have Morgan's support and big brother like care. Though she couldn't help but think that it should be Emily holding her hair during the morning sickness or holding her hand at the doctors.

Work was interesting for everyone. The whole team knew that JJ and Emily had split up, what they didn't know was why or the fact that JJ was pregnant. The only people that knew were Morgan and Hotch. Morgan had been very adamant that JJ talk to Hotch on that Monday after JJ left Emily. Not only about the breakup, since it had the potential to affect the team, but also about the baby. Morgan knew that he couldn't keep an eye on JJ all the time and he knew that if Hotch was aware JJ would be less likely to be sent out into the field. JJ tried to argue that per FBI rules she was allowed to be in the field until she was five months pregnant; but Morgan told her that as long as she was pregnant with his god peanut, she was doing what he said.

So on that Monday morning JJ and Morgan arrived early to talk to Hotch. I was a conversation that she had been dreading. However, Morgan never left her side, giving her all the support she needed.

_Flashback…._

_"Hey Hotch, do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you." JJ said as she stuck her head inside his door._

_"Sure JJ, come on in. Have a seat." Hotch said, always business like. JJ walked in and Morgan followed. Hotch offered the man a questioning look. _

_"I'm here for moral support." Morgan replied as he shut Hotch's door. _

_"Okay." Hotch said turning his eyes towards JJ. "What's going on?" _

_"I thought you should know, before the rumor mill started, that Emily and I have spilt up." JJ said struggling to hold back the tears. This was something she never imagined herself saying. "I'm going to be staying with Morgan for a while." _

_"Wow, I don't know what to say." Hotch was shocked. "Do you mind if I ask why?"_

_"Things change, people change." JJ said quietly as a tear ran down her cheek. Morgan sat downside her on the couch and put his arm around her shoulder. "I just wanted to let you know that, while I can't speak for Emily, this will not affect my job in any shape or form. I promise to be professional at all times." _

_"I'm sure you will. If there is anything I can do just let me know. Would you like some time off, just to clear your head?" _

_"No, I'm okay." JJ replied offering her boss a weak and tired smile. "There is something else you should know. Morgan is the only other person who knows and he is making me tell you."_

_"What is it?" Hotch asked suddenly very concerned. _

_"I'm pregnant. Right at five weeks." JJ said as she put her hand on her stomach. "Emily doesn't know. I'm not ready to tell her yet, but I will soon." _

_"Well I'm glad you told me. Whatever provisions or precautions you want to take are okay with me."_

_"I don't want her in the field any more; at least not until the baby is born." Morgan said firmly._

_"While I appreciate your concern Morgan, this is not your decision."_

_"No Hotch, he is right. I have to think of the baby." _

_"Well if that is what you want, I will see to it that you stay at whatever base of operations we have set up." Hotch said with a smile. "And while I'm sure this is not how you planned this; congratulations JJ you are going to make a great mother." _

_"Thank you sir." JJ said as fresh tears fell. _

So for the next three weeks JJ kept her distance from Emily and Emily did the same. They both managed to keep things professional, but only spoke to each other when it was absolutely necessary.

It was Saturday afternoon when the team arrived home from a rather grueling case in New Mexico. JJ knew that the team was staring to wonder why she never left the police stations anymore but so far her pregnancy was still a secret. After they arrived home, Morgan and JJ ordered some Chinese takeout and collapsed onto the couch.

"So no hot date tonight?" JJ teased as she flipped through the channels. It was past twelve so there was nothing on. She really hated that Morgan had put his life on hold for her.

"Nope. Too tired." Morgan said with a yawn.

"You know it's okay to date, go out with your friends. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"I know; but I like hanging out with you." Morgan smiled. "Plus, I don't know; I'm a little tired of the dating scene right now."

"Excuse me, did my ears just deceive me? Derek Morgan said he was tired of the dating scene?" JJ asked back in mock shock.

"Ha ha; very funny." Morgan said slapping her arm. "I've been thinking that its time I settle down."

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Morgan?"

"No I'm serious."

"Anyone in particular you had in mind."

"Actually there is." Morgan smiled. "She works at the FBI, she's blonde…"

"Awe that's sweet Morgan, but you really aren't my type." JJ laughed for the first time in weeks and it made Morgan smile.

"Alright smartass. You aren't the only blonde FBI employee I know."

"Wait a minute you said employee, not agent. Your talking about Garcia, aren't you?" JJ smiled.

"Maybe."

"How long? How long have you secretly liked her?" JJ asked shocked at Morgan revelation.

"Well it's not really a secret."

"Excuse me."

"We have sort of been dating for five months now."

"So all those night she came over to offer me moral support, was really what? Secret dates with you?"

"Oh no, it was for you. I was just an added bonus." Morgan teased and JJ slapped his arm. Before JJ could grill him any further her cell phone rang.

"Agent Jereau." JJ said as she answered her phone.

"Yes ma'am this is Officer Daniels, DC police department. I'm calling in regards to an Agent Emily Prentiss."

"Oh my god is she okay?"

"Well actually she is about to be arrested for driving under the influence. Normal procedure mandates that I call her supervisor and report this, but under the circumstances I am willing to let her go as long as someone comes and picks her up." JJ let out the breath that she didn't even realize she was holding and sighed. She was half tempted to hang up and let the officer call Hotch, what a fun phone call that would be. "I'll be right down. Thank you Officer Daniels." With that JJ closed her phone and fought the urge to throw it against the wall.

"What's wrong?" Morgan asked.

"Emily got pulled over for drunk driving. The officer said he would let her go as long as someone came and picked her up."

"He's not going to call Hotch?" Morgan was shocked.

"No, said he was willing to let this slide." JJ replied as she started to stand up.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"To pick her up and take her home."

"Why do you care?"

"Because like it or not, I still love her. I can't let that go yet."

"Okay fine, but you sit back down. I'll go."

"Morgan it's no big deal, really I can…"

"You can sit back down on this couch and relax. I will go and deal with Emily." JJ sat back down as Morgan got up. "I'll be right back." Morgan grabbed his keys and left the house. Once Morgan was gone, JJ let a few tears fall.

Ten minutes later Morgan pulled up to where Emily had been pulled over.

"Can I help you?" Officer Daniels asked as Morgan got out of his car.

"Yes, I'm Agent Derek Morgan." Morgan said as he showed the man his badge. "I'm here for her." Morgan said pointing to Emily. The officer explained the details of what had happened and that he was willing to let her go this time, but he had better not catch her again. Morgan shook the officer's hand and then walked over to Emily.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked with slightly slurred words.

"Saving your ass." Morgan snapped.

"JJ too good to come out and get me?" Emily hissed. Morgan didn't even bother to respond to her question.

"Come on lets go."

"I don't need your help. I can drive home myself."

"Like hell. Now get in the car."

"NO!" Emily yelled.

"Fine do you want me to call Hotch because I will." Emily just stared back in shock. "That's what I thought; because I'm sure Hotch would love to hear how one of his agents was almost arrested for drunk driving. Plus I'm sure that's not something you want on your permanent record." Emily knew Morgan was right so she gave in and started walking over to Morgan's car.

The car ride home was silent. It wasn't until Morgan pulled into the driveway that either of them spoke.

"Thank you." Emily mumbled quietly.

"Don't thank me. I would have left you to hang; no thank JJ. She is the one that made me come get you. What is wrong with you Emily? This is not like you. The drinking, the cheating. It's like you are a completely different person."

"It's none of your business." Emily said as she began to get angry again.

"That's right its not; but you have pushed everyone away. All we want is to help, but you can get your head out of ass long enough to see that."

"You know what screw you Morgan." Emily said as she got out of the car and slammed the door.

"That's right run and hide. It's what you do best!" Morgan yelled from the car window. "Count your blessings Emily, next time we might just let the cop call Hotch!"

A/N- So what did you think??? PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- My longest chapter to date..... I hope everyone is still enjoying this story.... and for those of you who want to kill Morgan for how mean he was to Emily last chapter, don't worry Morgan makes up for in the end....

Chapter 6....

"Come in." Hotch replied at the knock at his office door.

"Sorry to bother you sir, but do you know where JJ is by any chance?" Garcia asked as she walked in Hotch's office.

"She took the rest of the afternoon off." Hotch replied, not offering any more details because he wasn't sure if Garcia knew about the baby or not.

"Oh that's right, she told me that; doctor's appointment right?" Hotch didn't respond for fear that maybe Garcia was trying to trick him. "It's okay sir, I know about the baby. She told me last week." Garcia replied with a smile.

"Ah okay." Hotch replied with a typical Hotch small smile. "I didn't think she would be able to keep it from you for much longer."

"Yeah well, the fact that she kept it from me that long was impressive." Garcia said with a laugh. "I mean I'm over there all the time." Upon hearing that statement Hotch raised an eyebrow. "Um… what I mean is…."

"It's okay Garcia I have a pretty good idea what is going on and I'm happy for you. Both of you."

"Thank you sir." Garcia blushed. "We were going to tell you but then everything happened with JJ and Emily and we just thought it would be better to wait."

"I appreciate that Garcia." Hotch replied. "Now tell me how is JJ doing? I know that she puts up a good front here at the office, but is she doing okay?" Hotch asked concerned for someone he considered a friend.

"She's okay. She has her good days and her bad days. I think the whole baby thing is kind of confusing for her."

"What do you mean?"

"Well on one hand she wants to be happy but on the other hand I think it's just a reminder of what once was. A reminder of how happy they used to be."

"Well I can understand that." Hotch replied as he thought back to his own divorce. "I'm glad Morgan has been there for her."

"Me too. He really loves her. His mom was in town last week and even started referring to JJ as her daughter. If I wasn't so sure that Morgan wasn't her type I think I would have to be a little jealous." Garcia was surprised when their fearless leader laughed; an honest to goodness laugh. "Morgan's already trying to decide what color to paint the nursery."

"So JJ is going to continue to live there once the baby is born?"

"Morgan wouldn't let her move out even if she tried." Garcia laughed.

Meanwhile outside Hotch's office, Emily continued to listen to conversation in shock. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop but upon hearing the mention of her name she had stopped to listen. Of course finding out that JJ was pregnant was the last thing she had expected to hear. She couldn't believe that JJ hadn't told her. She was her wife and the baby's mother, she had a right to know. Emily heard Garcia and Hotch exchange goodbyes and Emily quickly ran down the steps to avoid being caught.

Later that night was sitting on the couch admiring her first sonogram picture when Garcia walked in.

"Wow Garcia you look beautiful." JJ said as she looked at her best friend dressed and low cut black dress. It was her and Morgan's six month anniversary and Morgan was taking her out to dinner.

"You hitting on my girl?" Morgan teased as he walked out of the bedroom and JJ simply rolled her eyes. "She is right though you look stunning." Morgan smiled before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Thank you hot stuff."

"Now are you sure you are going to be okay by yourself?" Morgan asked turning his attention back to JJ.

"Morgan, I'm pregnant not invalid. I think I can take care of myself for a few hours." JJ smiled.

"Okay, but you call me if you need anything."

"Morgan, go! Have a nice night out on the town." JJ said as she stood up and practically pushed Morgan and Garcia out the door. She loved Morgan to death but his constant hovering was driving her nuts. _Man if he is this bad with me, what is he going to be like if Garcia got pregnant? JJ thought to herself. _JJ allowed herself a moment to think about how cute a little Morgan Garcia baby would be and she couldn't help but smile. She had just sat back down on the couch when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door with out even looking.

"I told you I would be …." JJ stopped mid sentence when she realized it wasn't Morgan. "Emily! What are you doing here?"

"Is it true?" Emily asked directing her eyes to JJ's stomach. Dressed in pajama bottoms and a tank top, her just starting to show baby pouch was clearly visible. "When were you planning on telling me?" Emily asked softly as she stared at the woman who was carrying her child.

"I… I… um… I was going to tell…. I … um… I just didn't know how." JJ said as she stepped aside to let Emily in.

"How far along…"

"Three months." JJ replied quietly.

"I had a right know JJ." Emily said still in awe of the fact that she was going to be a mother. Slowly Emily reached out to touch JJ belly but before she could reach her JJ took two steps back. And just like that all the anger and all the pain came flooding back. "I had a right to know that you are carrying my baby!" Emily said loudly, causing JJ to flinch. "You should have told me!"

"I was going to tell you. Why do you think I came home early that day? I was so happy for us; but then I caught you fucking that whore!" JJ spat out; letting the anger take her over.

"I still had a right to know." Emily said as she paced the living room. "That is my baby growing inside you!" Emily yelled.

"No, you gave up that right when you cheated on me." JJ spat back "It may be your egg, but it damn sure isn't your baby."

"Like hell it isn't!"

"What are you really doing her anyways?" JJ asked with fire in her voice. "You haven't so much as said three words to me since I left that night."

"I overheard Garcia talking with Hotch about your pregnancy and I couldn't believe what I heard. How could you?"

"How could I?" JJ stared back in shock. "You cheated on me Emily and not just once and from what I've heard your little friend Lisa is making her self quiet comfortable in our old bed."

"You leave Lisa out of this." Emily fired back. "She has nothing to do with this."

"She has EVERYTHING to do with this. Damnit Emily! You cheated on me." JJ yelled. "I know that you are hurting. I get that, really I do; but what you did. How you decided to handle it is inexcusable. I loved you." The use of the past tense sent Emily into a tailspin.

"YOU'RE MY WIFE DAMNIT!!" Emily yelled.

"I stopped being your wife the moment you fucked someone else! Now GET OUT!" JJ yelled.

"FINE but this conversation is not over. That is MY child!" Emily yelled before slamming the front door.

The door had no more closed when JJ felt a sharp pain in her side. The pain was blinding as she crumpled to the floor. She cried out for help as she laid on the living room floor. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and prayed that everything would be okay. JJ remembered another sharp pain ripping through her stomach and then everything went black.

An hour later a frantic Morgan and Garcia sprinted into the hospital emergency room.

"I'm looking for Jennifer Jereau." Morgan said as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Who?"

"FBI Agent Jennifer Jereau." Morgan repeat, quickly becoming very irritated at the nurses lack of speed.

"She's in exam room 12, if you'll just have…" Morgan didn't let the woman finish before he took off towards JJ's room. "Sir you can't go back there!" The woman yelled.

"Just try and stop us." Garcia yelled back hot on Morgan's heels.

Morgan skidded to a stop just outside of JJ's door where he found his neighbor Mrs. Andrews waiting.

"Mrs. Andrews; what happened?"

"I don't know sweetie. I heard all this yelling and then I heard a door slam shut. Then a few seconds later I heard JJ screaming for help. Luckily I had that spare key you left me and I let myself in. I found her on the floor. She was unconscious." Upon hearing that Morgan thought he was going to be sick. Just as Morgan was about to speak again, the doctor came out of JJ's room.

"How is she? Is she okay?" Morgan asked.

"I'm sorry who are you?"

"I'm Agent Derek Morgan." The doctor looked up and smiled.

"Ah yes, Agent Jereau said to be expecting you."

"Is she okay?"

"Agent Jereau is going to fine." The doctor smiled.

"And that baby?" Morgan asked really not sure he wanted the answer.

"The baby is fine as well. The baby was in some distress when they brought her in due to Agent Jereau's extremely high blood pressure but we were able to stabilize both of them. Barring any other issues, Agent Jereau and that baby should be just fine. I would like to keep her over night for observation but she should be able to go home in the morning."

"Thank you doctor." Morgan finally let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding in.

"Just make sure she keeps the stress levels to a minimum and that she gets plenty of rest." The doctor shook Morgan's hand and then left.

"You go in first honey, I'll sit out here with Mrs. Andrews." Garcia said once the doctor left. Morgan walked into the room, not even bothering to answer Garcia. As soon as JJ's eye found Morgan's she began to cry.

"Hey, now don't do that. Everything is fine. Peanut is going to be okay." Morgan said as he took JJ's hand.

"I was so sacred." JJ said through her tears.

"I know you were. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." Morgan replied.

"She was so angry. She kept saying it was her baby and…"

"Who was angry?"

"Emily." JJ said as fresh tears fell.

"Emily was at the apartment?" Morgan asked and JJ nodded her head. "Did she hurt you?" Morgan asked, as his anger grew.

"No, but she was so angry."

"Look JJ, I know that there are some things that need to be worked out but I promise you I will do whatever it takes to protect you and peanut." Morgan said as he laid his hand on JJ's belly. "Emily lost all rights to this child when she slept with another woman."

"But she is technically its mother. I'm scared that she is going to try and take it from me."

"I don't want you to worry about that right now. We will deal with that when the time comes." Morgan said in a firm voice. "Now you get some rest. The doctor said no more stress." Morgan said with a smile and JJ chuckled. "Okay, I'm going to step out and send Garcia in before she has a heart attack." Morgan leaned over and kissed JJ on the forehead and then walked back outside.

Confident in Garcia's ability to keep JJ safe, Morgan drove Mrs. Andrews home and then went in search of one Emily Elizabeth Prentiss.

Morgan pulled into the driveway of Emily's home and was pissed to see another car parked there.

"Emily open up the damn door." Morgan yelled as he banged on the front door.

"Jesus Morgan, what the hell do you want?" Emily asked as she opened the door. Morgan pushed his way in and found a strange blonde woman sitting on the couch.

"You out!" Morgan yelled as he pointed to the woman.

"Who the hell do you think you are? This isn't your house." The blonde replied.

"I swear to god Emily get her out of this house!" Morgan said never taking his eyes off of the woman.

"I think maybe we should call it a night." Emily said as she turned to Lisa; knowing better than to test Morgan when he was this pissed. Lisa stared back in shock.

"Fine!" Lisa said as she stormed out of the house.

"What is your problem Morgan?"

"My problem is that while your supposed wife is lying in a hospital bed you are here entertaining some slut."

"Hospital? Is JJ okay?" Emily was sure her heart stopped.

"What do you care?"

"Damnit Morgan; is JJ okay?"

"Yes no thanks to you." Emily let out a sigh of relief. "What the hell were you thinking going over there and yelling at her like that?"

"I had a right to know! That is my baby too!"

"Yeah well your little fight almost caused JJ to miscarry!"

"Oh my god! Is the baby…"

"The baby is fine. JJ is fine." Morgan said quietly as he sat down on the couch. "God Emily what was has gotten in to you? This is not like you."

"I… I can't…. I just don't know what to do anymore." Emily said as tears began to stream down her face. "I never meant to hurt her." Emily cried.

"Do you still love her?" Morgan asked and Emily simply nodded.

"I never meant to hurt her." Emily repeated. "You have to believe me. Lisa was…. I don't know what Lisa was… God Morgan I'm so sorry."

Morgan stood up and pulled Emily into a hug as she finally broke down.

Two hours later, Morgan returned to the hospital with Emily in tow.

"I'm not sure about this Morgan." Emily replied.

"No, you are not backing out of this. You are going to go in there and talk." Morgan said giving Emily's hand a squeeze.

Morgan stuck his head inside and asked Garcia to come outside for a minute. Upon seeing Emily there, Garcia went off.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Garcia demanded to know. "Haven't you caused enough problems for one night."

"Baby she is here to apologize." Morgan said trying to calm Garcia down.

"I'm so sorry Garcia and I know that I deserve all of your anger; but I just want to talk to her."

"Fine! But if I so much as here a raised voice in there I'm kicking your ass. You understand me?" Emily simply nodded and then turned to walk into JJ's room.

Emily walked into the room and felt her heart stop. JJ looked tired and frail laying there in the hospital bed. JJ's focus was on the heart monitor that was attached to her stomach. The proof that their baby was okay.

"JJ?" Emily said just barely above a whisper. JJ turned her head and stared back in shock at who was standing in her room, because she was the last person she expected to see.

A/N- PLEASE REVIEW... would love to hear from you good or bad.....


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- Ok here you go the much anticipated conversation between JJ and Emily… I hope that you like it…..

Chapter 7…..

"What are…. how did…" JJ was for the first time in her life at a loss for words.

"Morgan told me." Emily said quietly. "I'm so sorry JJ. I never meant for any of this to happen." Emily said as she took a couple steps closer.

"I'm sure you didn't Emily, but it doesn't change the fact that it did." JJ said, not with anger but with a sense of loss.

"I never meant to hurt you." Emily said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Why wouldn't you let me help you? I know that you are hurting but you have to know that I would have been there for you." JJ said letting her own tears fall.

"Because it was easier and I know that is not the answer you wanted to hear but it's the truth. It was easier to close off my heart than deal with what was really going on."

"And Lisa?"

"Lisa made the pain go away. Even if it was only for a few minutes she made the pain stop."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"You don't know how many times I asked myself that same question. You don't know how much I wish that I had. Lisa was a mistake; a really stupid mistake." Emily said taking another step closer. "And I would give anything to take it back."

"I'm sorry Emily but I don't think I can trust you again." JJ said as more tears fell. "Lord knows I want to but I don't think I can go through this again; and now I have more to consider than just me." JJ said as she laid her hand on her slight bulge.

"I know. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. Just tell me what to do."

"I don't know if there is anything you can do. I'm sorry Emily but it just hurt too much. I can't go through that again." Upon hearing those words Emily was sure her heart broke.

"Please JJ, this can't be it. I want to be there for you, for the baby." Emily begged. "I'm going to get help for the drinking and I'm going to call the FBI Psychologist first thing in the morning and set up an appointment."

"So you still won't tell me what happened in that compound?" JJ said more than asked.

"I want to, but I can't. Not yet but I will. I will tell you everything. I just need some time. Please." Emily pleaded as she stood right next to the bed; fighting back the urge to grab JJ's hand. "I want to be apart of our child's life."

"And you will be, if you get the help you say you are; then I want you to be part of his or hers life. Part of their future." JJ said rubbing her belly. "But I'm not sure that future hold's a place for us as a couple anymore."

"It will. I promise you." Emily said with firm confidence. "You may not be able to see it now but I promise you it will. Because I'm not giving up on us. I know that I screwed up, but I promise that I will make this right." Emily said finally giving into temptation taking JJ's hand that was laying on her belly. She was eternally grateful when JJ did make any effort to move. They both sat there in silence for several more minutes; there was nothing else to say.

One week later Emily stood in front of the building where she was to attend her first AA meeting. She was nervous as hell and wanted nothing more than to have JJ by her side, but the wounds of the last few months were still too fresh for JJ to just forgive and forget. Finally Emily took a deep breath and walked inside. She sat down quietly in the back and listened to what everyone was saying. It was the longest two hours of her life and when it was over she left, without so much as saying a word and headed for the nearest bar. This pattern continued for almost a month. Three nights a week she would attend an AA meeting and then head to the bar immediately afterwards. After the fourth week, she had decided that she might as well stop coming. It wasn't like they were doing her any good and she felt bad for coming if she was still drinking. Emily walked outside after what she had deemed her last meeting and ran into Reid; literally knocking him over.

"Oh my god Reid. I'm so sorry." Emily apologized as she helped him up.

"It's okay. Nothing hurt." Reid smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked suddenly confused as to why Reid was standing in front of the Health Center.

"I have a meeting tonight."

"You still go to those? But haven't you been clean for like a couple years now?" Emily asked in shock.

"Yes I have." Reid smiled proudly as he showed Emily his two year coin. "But still doesn't mean that I don't think about it. I make sure I come to a meeting at least once a month; sometimes more if we have a really bad case. Like after the compound incident. I came to meeting the night we got home. I know that something happened in there Emily and you don't know how much I blame myself for that."

"It wasn't your fault Reid." Emily replied still looking at the coin. "I did what I did to protect you and given the choice again I would do it again." Emily flipped the coin around in her hand. "Does it get easier?" Emily asked.

"Yes, but it takes a while. It took me almost a year to get my six month coin." Reid said as he and Emily sat down on a bench outside the center. "I know that you are struggling and a lot has happened. What with JJ and all; but know that I am here if you ever want to talk."

"Thanks Reid. That means a lot." Emily said with a half smile as she handed him his coin.

"You keep it." Reid said as he pushed her hand away. "You can give it back to me when you get your one month." Emily nodded her head and wiped the tear that escaped her eyes from her cheek. "Well I have to get to my meeting. Are you heading home?"

"No I think I'm going to go to another meeting." Reid nodded and the two of them walked into the health center.

All the while Emily was struggling with the drinking she was also struggling with her inablility to open up to the FBI psychologist. She wanted too, but she was finding it very difficult. However, compared to the Emily of a month ago, this Emily was doing much better.

So over the next couple months Emily continued to improve and with that things slowly began to improve at work as well. The tension that filled the room before was gone. Although JJ was still guarded; she and Emily found themselves able to carry on conversations that weren't necessarily about work. Emily was almost as bad as Morgan with the constant hovering but she was determined to keep JJ and their child safe. It was like Morgan and Emily had tag teamed against her. When one wasn't pestering her about eating or driving her up a wall about getting plenty of rest, the other one was.

However, even with all the annoying hovering JJ invited Emily to her five month appointment; to which Emily immediately accepted. Morgan had been disappointed but understood how important this was to Emily and was happy that JJ and Emily seemed to be doing okay. Not great but okay.

"Well this is a nice surprise. It's good to see you again Emily." Dr. Williams said when she walked into JJ's room. On one hand she was shocked to see her, especially after JJ had confessed everything to her during her last visit; but on the other hand she was happy to see Emily back in the picture. After all it was her child too.

"Thank you. It's good to be here. We can't wait to find out the sex." Emily smiled. Emily had been on cloud nine since JJ had asked her to come with her to find out the sex of their baby. Dr. William's didn't think Emily's smile could get any bigger; this was the Emily that Dr. Williams remembered.

"Well let's not keep you waiting then." Dr. Williams smiled. She rolled JJ's shirt up exposing her five month belly. "Ok this is going to cold." She said as she put the gel on JJ's belly and of course JJ immediately shivered. Dr. Williams moved the wand around JJ's belly and eventually brought the baby into focus on the screen. Although JJ had seen it before it was still an amazing sight; but Emily it was nothing short of breathtaking.

"Oh my god that's our baby." Emily said in awe.

"Yes it is." Dr. Williams smiled. "Everything looks good. Right on schedule. You two ready to know the sex?"

"Yes." JJ said quickly as Emily nodded her head.

"Congratulations moms, it's a boy!"

"A boy! Did you hear that JJ we're going to have son?" JJ simply nodded as she suddenly lost the ability to speak. They were having a son.

"I will give you some time alone." Dr. Williams said before leaving the room.

"Wow a son." Emily said as she stared at the monitor. "I can't believe we are having a son."

"I know. I mean I would have been happy either way but…" JJ stopped in mid thought as she watched a tear roll down Emily's cheek. "You okay Emily?"

"It's just…. just so amazing. Thank you so much for letting me be here for this." Emily said as she wiped the tear away.

"Regardless of what happened between us, you are still his mother and I will never deny you that." JJ said with a smile, turning her attention back to the monitor and their son.

"What about Jacob?" Emily asked as she drove back to work after the doctors appointment.

"Eww…. No." JJ said as she wrinkled her nose.

"That was my grandfather's name." Emily replied.

"I'm sorry." JJ replied as she put her hand over her mouth; while her other hand naturally went to Emily's arm. "I didn't mean to make fun of it. I just don't like it. Too old." JJ replied. "What about Gabriel?" JJ asked, although Emily hadn't heard her. She was too focused on JJ's hand on her arm. When JJ saw Emily looking at her hand, JJ immediately pulled her hand away and just like that the warmth that had been there was no gone. "Sorry." JJ said quietly. "So what do you think of Gabriel?" JJ asked again quickly before Emily could say any more about the incident.

"I like it." Emily said as she shook the thoughts of JJ's hand on her arm from her head, "but I think I like more as a middle name." Emily said as she pulled into the parking lot. "I know Matthew. Matthew Gabriel." Emily smiled.

"Oh I like that." JJ smiled. "Matthew Gabriel Jereau. Has a nice ring to it doesn't it?" Emily's breath hitched though she was sure JJ didn't notice. She had said Jereau not Prentiss and that hurt. It hurt more than Emily thought possible. She wondered if JJ had even considered using her last name, though she couldn't really blame her. Afterall Emily had royally fucked this whole thing up.

A/N- Ok so everything seems good now right??? Well don't get comfortable because there is some more drama ahead (insert evil laugh)…… I hope every one is still enjoying this story…. PLEASE REVIEW…….


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Okay so here is next chapter... and sadly it gets a little bumpy again.... sorry... well not really.. I did tell you the drama wasn't over... lol.. oh well on with the story..

CHAPTER 8......

JJ and Emily had no more stepped off the elevator when they were met by a very anxious Garcia and Morgan.

"So?" Garcia asked almost unable to contain her excitement.

"So what?" JJ teased.

"Oh don't you dare tease me. You tell me this instant." Garcia said impatiently. "I want to know it if my god child is a boy or girl." Again Emily felt her breath hitch. JJ has already told Garcia and presumably Morgan that they were to be the baby's god parents. Not that Emily had any issues with that; she just was beginning to realize how much she had missed in the last five months.

"Well you will be happy to know that I'm having a boy." JJ beamed.

"Hot damn. A boy!" Morgan shouted. "Pee Wee football here we come."

"You had better watch that Morgan, because I think JJ has her heart set on soccer. Don't you sweetie?" The term of endearment came out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop it. Immediately Emily regretted it as she saw the pain cross JJ's face.

"Excuse me." JJ said quietly before quickly retreating to her office; determined not to cry in front of her friends.

"JJ wait." Emily said before turning to follow her; however, Garcia grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Let her go." Garcia said softly.

"I didn't mean anything by it. It just came out."

"I know you didn't. Just give her some time." Garcia said with a smile. Emily knew Garcia was right, as usual. "Now come over here and tell me some more about my god son. Have you all thought of any names yet?" Garcia asked as she led Emily over to her desk.

"Actually we have." Emily said as she finally brought her focus back to Garcia and Morgan.

"Oh really what?"

"Matthew Gabriel Jereau." Emily said with half a smile. It killed her to think that their child wasn't going to have her last name. Morgan, upon seeing Emily's reaction to the name, placed his hand on her shoulder and offered her a nod. Morgan knew that Emily wanted their child to have her last name and he also knew that JJ had spent many a night trying to decide what to do about that. It was not a decision that JJ had come by easily.

The rest of the afternoon went by without further incident, although JJ had yet to come out of her office. Finally around 5 o'clock Emily decided to go and apologize. Emily hadn't meant anything by it but the look on JJ's face said it all. Emily took a deep breath as she knocked on her office door.

"Come in." JJ replied.

"Hey JJ." Emily said with a slight smile. "I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn't mean to upset you; it just came out. I'm sorry."

"No its okay. It's just… it still hurts; you know?" JJ said quietly. Emily didn't know how to respond. She hated seeing JJ like this. It was moments like this that made her think that maybe JJ had been right when she said that they didn't have a future together any more. "It's just when you said it, for a moment there everything felt normal again. It felt like old times."

"It can be like that again, if you just let me…."

"No Emily it can't." JJ cut Emily off. "I can't go through that again. I won't." JJ said sternly as she locked eyes with Emily effectively telling her she was done with this conversation.

"Okay well I just wanted to apologize." Emily said again as she turned to leave.

"Emily wait." Emily stopped on a dime and turned back around. "Would you like to go out baby shopping tonight? Morgan and Garcia have dinner plans and I really don't want to go alone. Maybe we could grab some dinner." JJ offered. "Just as friends and future parents." JJ quickly added as to not send mix signals.

"I would like that a lot." Emily smiled. _Friends, well at least that is a small step in the right direction; Emily thought to herself._

After work JJ and Emily grabbed some dinner at JJ's favorite little pizza place and then headed to the mall. JJ said she needed some new maternity clothes and then they were going to do some shopping for the baby. While JJ was in the maternity store Emily wondered over to the jewelry store that was next door.

"Can I help you?" The salesperson asked.

"No I'm just looking thank you." Emily replied as she looked at the bracelets in front of her. She continued to look for a few minutes when something caught her eye. "Actually can I have a look at that?" Emily said pointing to the bracelet in the case.

"Nice choice." The salesperson nodded as she unlocked the case. "That is our Mother's Charm. Its 3 karats of diamonds set in white gold. Then we can add a gemstone charm for each of your children's birthstones." Emily looked that bracelet for a few minutes and then laid it back down.

"Can I see it with a sapphire charm on it?"

"Of course." The salesperson replied as she took the ruby charm off and placed a beautiful sapphire charm on instead." The moment she saw the charm on the bracelet she knew that she had to get if for JJ. She never even asked the salesperson the price. She told the woman she would take it and never blinked an eye.

They spent the next three hours shopping for the baby. It was an overwhelming experience for both women.

"Who knew there were so many types of bottles?" Emily replied as she walked Emily to Morgan's door loaded down with bags.

"I know. It's enough to drive a person insane." JJ replied. "Well thanks for going with me." JJ said as she helped Emily put the bags on the kitchen table.

"Anytime. I meant what I said. I want to be apart of our child's life. All of it."

"I'm glad to hear that Emily." JJ smiled. "Maybe we can start looking for baby furniture this weekend?"

"That would be great. Saturday? Maybe grab some lunch?"

"Sounds like a plan." JJ smiled. "Good night Emily."

"Good night JJ." Emily replied fighting the urge to kiss her. I will see you tomorrow." Emily said quietly before turning to leave, already making plans for Saturday.

Unfortunately they didn't get to go shopping on Saturday like they had planned. The team was called out on a serial rape case in Texas and everyone could tell that Emily was struggling. Four days into the case, Reid pulled Emily aside and handed her a piece of paper.

"What's this?" Emily asked.

"The address of a local AA meeting." Reid said quietly as to not alert the rest of the team.

"Reid I don't need…"

"Just think about it okay?" Emily looked down at the address and then gave Reid a small nod.

Finally after two more hellish days, the team finally caught the unsub and much to everyone's relief they were headed home.

"Do you want to grab some dinner tonight?" Emily asked as she sat down across from JJ on the plane.

"I um… I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to hang out at the apartment tonight." JJ prayed that Emily wouldn't see through her lie. Truth was she had plans.

"Okay, well maybe some other time." Emily replied softly before turning to stare out the window.

Later that night JJ walked in to the restaurant and looked around for Will. He had called her last week and told JJ he was going to be in town for a couple days and asked if they could have dinner. JJ immediately agreed. She hadn't seen Will since their case in Miami, mostly because Emily didn't like him. Emily found Will to be a threat even though JJ had on numerous occasions told Emily there was absolutely nothing to worry about. Emily didn't care though; she had seen enough flirting in New Orleans to know that she didn't like him. Whether he knew JJ was gay or not.

"Over here JJ." Will smiled as he waved JJ over.

"Hey Will. You're looking good." JJ smiled as she hugged him.

"And look at you. All pregnant and everything." Will smiled. "When are you due?" Will asked as they both sat down.

"September 22nd." JJ smiled as she rubbed her belly.

"I bet Emily is excited." Will watched as JJ's smile faded from her face.

Meanwhile a few blocks down, Emily sat in the living room staring at the bracelet that was still laying on the coffee table. Suddenly Emily jumped up, grabbed the bracelet and headed for the door. She was tired of waiting for the perfect moment to give it to her. She made her way to Morgan's apartment when a car parked out in front of a local restaurant caught her eye.

"I know that car." Emily said as she quickly pulled into the parking lot. She pulled up behind it and frowned. "What the hell? She said she was tired." Emily said to herself before finding a place to park.

Emily walked inside expecting to see JJ and Morgan having dinner, but instead she saw JJ and Will. WILL!!! Emily quickly made her way to the bar and found a spot that would allow her to still see them but kept her otherwise hidden.

"Can I get you something?" The bartender asked.

"A beer!" Emily snapped with out even really thinking. It took all of ten seconds for Emily to down it and ask for another. Emily never turned her attention away from the table. After about 10 minutes, and three beers, Emily couldn't take it any longer. She watched as Will took JJ's hand and gave it a squeeze. Emily pulled out her cell phone and dialed a very familiar number.

Over at the table, JJ offered a sad smile as Will squeezed her hand.

"It'll be okay, chere." Will said with his thick New Orleans accent.

"I just don't know what to do. On one hand I want to forgive her but on the other it still hurts. It would be some mush easier if I still didn't love her. I just wish…" JJ was interrupted by her cell phone. "Sorry Will." JJ said as she answered her phone not even bothering to look at the caller ID. "Agent Jereau."

"Hey JJ. I know that you said you were tired but I thought if its okay that I might swing by Morgan's for a little while."

"Um… I'm really tired Emily. I was just about to head to bed." JJ replied.

"Oh really, because from where I'm sitting it looks like you are getting awfully chumming with Detective Crawfish!" Emily spat into the phone and then slammed it shut.

JJ stared at her phone as she struggled to process what Emily had just said.

"What's wrong?" Will asked slightly concerned, but before JJ could answer Emily was standing beside their table.

"What the hell is going on here?" Emily demanded to know. "I thought you were tired, heading to bed?" Emily said rather loudly.

"Emily would you keep your voice down?" JJ said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Have you lost your mind?" JJ yelled as she stood up. The entire restaurant now focused on the table. "I'm not you. I don't have affairs behind my wife's back!"

"Well then why lie to me about having dinner with him tonight?" Emily asked, pointing to Will.

"Because I knew that you would freak out. You have never liked Will. You have been jealous of our friendship since the beginning!" JJ yelled. "Plus last time I checked I don't have to answer to you anymore!"  
"Friendship??? He flirted with you the whole time we were in New Orleans!"

"In my defense I didn't know she was gay and I certainly didn't know she had a girlfriend." Will said as he stood up, feeling the need to defend himself.

"SHUT UP!" Both women yelled at him and he quickly sat back down.

"How could you?" Emily said with a slight slur of her words.

"Have you been drinking?" JJ asked with fire in her eyes.

"No!" Emily snapped back and JJ could smell the beer on her breath. "You are my wife damnit!! You should not be having secret dates behind my back!"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you had a 'secret' affair behind mine!" JJ replied back in anger. "I can't believe you Emily. I thought you had changed. I can't believe that I even entertained the thought of taking you back." As the words that JJ had spoken sunk in, Emily realized that she had screwed up again. "We are done!" JJ said through the tears. "Come on Will. I think I need to go home." Will stood up and followed JJ out of the restaurant leaving a still stunned Emily standing at the table.

A/N- Okay... let me know what you think.... big happenings in the next chapter.... PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- Okay so here is the next chapter... so much more drama...... I hope you enjoy it.....

Chpater 9.......

JJ poured a glass of water and sat down at the precinct break room table in the small Virginia town. She placed her hand on her swollen belly and sighed. JJ closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair; praying that this case would end soon. Three days of hunting an unsub that was kidnapping and killing pregnant women was taking its toll on the mom to be. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. Plus ever since the incident in the restaurant the week before, the tension between JJ and Emily was greater than ever.

Emily walked in and quietly made her way over to the coffee pot. She didn't want to disturb JJ, who she thought was asleep. Emily knew that JJ was tired. She had been up late working on the press release for this morning and then had to deal with a room full of angry journalists. JJ had held her own but not before taking a verbal beating from the group. Emily couldn't help but stare at her. She was more beautiful today than when she had first met her and Emily still couldn't believe that she had fucked it up again. Just when things were starting to improve. That night after JJ and Will left, Emily had immediately called Reid; who came and got her and took her to a late night AA meeting. The hardest part for Emily was admitting defeat when she handed over her one month coin. Emily was so entranced by JJ that she slipped her coffee all over her hand.

"Damn it!" Emily yelled as the hot liquid hit her hand. JJ's eyes flew open and quickly found Emily standing at the sink. Emily cleaned up her mess and turned around to see a now awake JJ. "Shit, I'm sorry JJ I didn't mean to wake you." JJ didn't say anything as she stood up to leave. "JJ wait." Emily said as she grabbed JJ's hand.

"Not now Emily." JJ ground out.

"Please, just let me apologize." Emily begged.

"For what accusing me of cheating or …. You know what never mind." JJ said as she turned to leave.

"Damn it JJ. I'm sorry. I know that I screwed up. Tell me what I can …"

"That's just it Emily, you can't keep fixing it. I can't keep doing this. I was finally starting forgive you and then you go and do this. Will is a friend. A friend who was trying to comfort me."

"I know that. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry."

"Well sorry doesn't cut it any more." JJ said as she made her way out of the break room.

"Please JJ just…." Emily tried one last time but was cut off by JJ's hand as she stormed out of the precinct; completely forgetting about her promise to not go anywhere alone.

Emily waited twenty minutes and when JJ hadn't returned she decided to go and find her. Afterall there was a crazy unsub still lurking around out there. Emily walked to the park across the street and saw JJ sitting on a bench and she breathed a sigh of relief. She stopped and was about to turn around and head back when something caught her eye. A man, looking a lot like there unsub was walking towards JJ. Before Emily had time to react the unsub has a gun pulled on JJ and was pulling her with him towards the other side of the park.

"FREEZE!" Emily yelled as she pulled her gun. The unsub spun around and quickly pulled JJ close to him and pointed his gun at her stomach. Emily felt her heart cringe. "You don't want to do this." Emily yelled.

"You can't stop me!" The man yelled back, as he pulled JJ closer to him. Emily could see the fear radiating from JJ's eyes. "She shouldn't have left me!"

"I'm sorry your wife left you, really I am; but this is not going to bring her back." Emily said calmly, while keeping her gun trained on the man who was holding her whole world in his hands.

"You don't get it!" He shouted taking a few steps back.

"What don't I get?" Emily asked taking a couple steps forward.

"These women; they deserve to die because they are just like her!" He spat. "They think they can have it all. A powerful job and a family. They can't! She didn't understand. I just wanted to protect her. I just wanted what was best for our family!"

"You wanted her to quit her job?" Emily stated rather than asked. "You wanted her to be a stay at home mom and she didn't want to."

"Exactly. See you understand." The man replied. "But she didn't and she got so angry! I didn't mean to hurt her. It was an accident." Suddenly it was all starting to make since as the profiler in her was kicking in to high gear. This man had killed his wife and unborn child, rather by accident or not she didn't know or really care, and now he was continuing his rage on other women with high powered jobs. The press conference this morning must have been what brought JJ to his attention. Emily watched as JJ struggled against the man's tight grip. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Morgan and Hotch sprinting out of the police department, with Rossi and Reid not far behind. Their guns already drawn. Emily locked eyes with JJ and in that brief moment she knew what JJ was about to do. Pulling her focus away from JJ she set her sights on the man holding her captive. A few seconds later, JJ spun around in the unsuspecting man's arms and gave him a quick kick to the groin. As the man began to crumble to the ground JJ stumbled backwards.

The first shot resonated through the park and Morgan and Hotch froze. The second and third shot brought them out of their trance as they watch Emily sprint towards JJ who was laying on the ground about four feet away from the unsub.

"JJ!" Emily yelled as she skidded to a stop on her knees beside JJ. "Oh god baby!" Emily said as she looked down at JJ, whose crisp white shirt was quickly turning red. Emily placed her hands over the wound, trying in vain to stop the blood from escaping. "Someone help! We need an ambulance. Officer DOWN!!" Emily yelled. She could hear Hotch barking orders into a radio. Morgan fell to his knees beside JJ.

"Jesus." Morgan said with tears in his eyes.

"I can't get it to stop Morgan." Emily cried. "Make it stop." Morgan moved Emily's hand out of the way and replaced them with his own; as Emily moved to cradle JJ's head in her lap. "Come on baby. Don't do this to me. I need to you fight. Our son needs you to fight. Please baby open your eyes." Emily pleaded as she heard the faint sounds of the approaching ambulance. Slowly JJ's eyes flickered open. "Oh thank god JJ. Stay with me okay. The ambulance is coming; just stay with me."

"Sooo cold." JJ struggled to say as the pain radiated through her body.

"I know baby; help is on the way." Emily said as fresh tears fell. "Just hang on."

"The baby?" JJ asked weakly.

"He is going to be fine. Just like you. I promise."

"Save the … _cough… _the baby …_cough…_" Emily watched in horror as blood began to trickle out of JJ's mouth.

"Don't talk like that little mama." Morgan said pressing down harder on the bullet wound causing JJ to wince. "You and the baby are going to be just fine."

"Please promise … _cough…" _JJ pleaded with Emily.

"I promise." Emily said JJ's body was wracked with a series of coughs; causing more blood to spill from her mouth. "Just a little while longer. Hang on just a while longer sweetie." Emily said as she watched the paramedics sprint towards them.

"Em… I …" Slowly JJ's eyes rolled back in her head and everything went black

"No damnit! JJ! Jennifer you can't leave me!" Emily yelled as Hotch pulled her away so that paramedics could work on her. Emily collapsed into Hotch's arms as they strapped JJ to the stretcher and quickly made their way to the ambulance. Hotch looked down at Emily and for first time noticed blood on her right arm. All of JJ's blood was around her hands; so this blood seemed out of place. "Emily, you're bleeding."

"What?" Emily asked with tears in her voice.

"You're bleeding." Hotch said pointing to her arm. Emily glanced down and noticed the tear in her sleeve. "Were you hit?" Hotch asked suddenly very concerned as he pulled the fabric away from the wound. Sure enough Emily had a sizable gash on her upper arm. "I NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!" Hotch yelled.

"It's nothing. I need to go with JJ." Emily pleaded. Hotch nodded and led her over to the ambulance, where both paramedics were still tending to JJ. "She's needs help." Hotch said pointing at Emily's arm.

"I'm sorry but she will have to wait for another bus; we don't have…" The paramedic began to explain but was quickly cut off by Hotch.

"That woman," Hotch bellowed pointing at JJ, "is a Federal Agent and this is her wife! There is no way she is not getting on this bus!"

"Understood sir." The paramedic replied quickly as Emily climbed into the back and grabbed JJ's hand.

"We'll be right behind you." Hotch said as the paramedic closed the loading door. With in seconds the ambulance was gone; leaving behind a stunned BAU Team. Hotch turned to face his shattered team and sighed. "Come on let's go. Emily is going to need us." Reid more than any of them how true that statement was. Hotch, Reid and Rossi made their way to the waiting Bureau SUV. Hotch turned around to see Morgan still standing there. He hadn't moved. Hotch told Rossi and Reid to go ahead and get in; then he turned back and walked over to Morgan.

"Morgan; we need to go." Morgan still didn't move. "Morgan!" Hotch yelled causing Morgan to look at his boss. "We need to go." Morgan nodded his head and starting walking towards the SUV.

"I have to call Garcia." Morgan said quietly once he was in the SUV. He pulled out his cell phone and prepared to make the hardest phone call of his life.

The ambulance arrived at the hospital and Emily was reluctantly pulled away from JJ as a nurse forced her into a different room.

"I need to go with her." Emily begged the nurse.

"There is nothing you can do for her. Let the doctor's do their job and let us take a look at your arm. "

"You don't understand…."

"Honey, I do understand; but right now you need to let us treat your arm." Emily turned to look at the nursing knowing eyes and finally nodded. A few minutes later a doctor came in and stitched up the flesh wound and told Emily to take it easy over the next few days. He gave Emily a list of instructions but Emily didn't hear any of them. All she could think about was JJ laying in the next room.

By the time that the team arrived at the hospital, Emily was already sitting in the waiting room. Her arm was bandaged and was now resting comfortably in a sling. Beside her was a pair of scrubs sitting; apparently a nurse thought she might be more comfortable changing out of the blood soaked clothes she was wearing. Morgan quietly walked over and sat down beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder, careful not to hurt her arm and she began to sob into his chest.

"JJ's strong. She will pull through this." Morgan said as he rubbed comforting circles on Emily's back. "Just have faith. JJ and Matthew will be fine. You'll see." Morgan said as Emily continued to cry. "Garcia is on her way. She said to send her love." Morgan said with a slight smile.

"Oh my god. I need to call her mother." Emily said quickly pulling her head from Morgan's chest.

"I'll call her." Hotch replied. "You just sit there and rest. I have a feeling we are going to be here for a while." Hotch said as he placed a comforting hand on Emily's shoulder. "How is your arm?"

"Twenty stitches. I think; I wasn't really listening." Emily replied quietly.

"Okay I will follow up with your doctor after I call JJ's mother." Emily nodded and placed her head back on Morgan's chest. All they could do now was wait.

A/N- PLease don't kill me!! I promise I have a plan..... PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- I would like to thank everyone that has reviewed so far. I am glad you are enjoying the story….here is the much anticipated next chapter. I hope you like it…..

CHAPTER 10…

Five hours later the team was still sitting in the waiting room, awaiting news on JJ. All they knew so far was that she was in surgery. Other than that, it was anyone's guess. Garcia had made the hour and 15 minute drive in less than 45. Emily currently had her head resting on Garcia's shoulder; while Morgan flanked her other side. Reid had returned from the hotel a few hours early with clean clothes for both Morgan and Emily. It had taken some convincing but Garcia had finally persuaded Emily to go and change clothes. She was scared that the doctor would come out and she wouldn't be there.

Another hour passed and finally a doctor walked into the waiting room.

"You all are here for Agent Jereau correct?" The doctor asked; although everyone in the hospital knew they were.

"Yes! I'm her wife. Is she okay?" Emily said as she leaped from her chair. The sudden rush of blood caused her to waiver a bit and Morgan quickly wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I'm Dr. Jenkins." He said as he extended his hand. Emily shook it but wanted nothing more than to know if JJ was alright.

"Is Jennifer okay?" Emily asked with tears in her eyes.

"Right now she is stable." Morgan didn't like the sound of that. "The bullet ricocheted off Agent Jereau's rib cage nicked her aortic artery. The bullet then lodged itself in some muscle tissue. The bullet shattered two ribs, one of which perforated her lung. We were able to repair the damage to her aortic artery but the damage to her lung is quite extensive." Emily felt herself go weak at the knees and Morgan quickly led her back to the chairs. "We repaired the damage as best we could but I'm afraid that any further repair would be harmful to the baby."

"I don't understand? What exactly are you saying?" Hotch asked confused by what he was hearing.

"I'm saying there needs to be a decision made; one I wish you didn't have to make, but it still needs to be made." The doctor looked around at the stunned faces. "The drugs and additional surgery that Agent Jereau needs to survive would cause her miscarry. No fetus can withstand that kind of trauma or those drugs. I have to admit that it's a miracle he has survived this long. With the amount of blood loss Agent Jereau suffered I am surprised. Obviously if you decide to take this option we would perform a c-section and remove the baby as soon as possible."

"But he is only 5 and half months." Garcia said, stating the obvious.

"What are his chances at this stage?" Rossi asked.

"Less than 10 percent." Reid spoke up. Since finding out that JJ was pregnant, he had taken it upon himself to learn all he could on the topic.

"That is correct." The doctor said nodding to Reid.

"What's the other option?" Hotch asked.

"We can make Agent Jereau comfortable. Keep her on a ventilator. We would provide the baby with drugs to stimulate his lung development and we would monitor the baby's progress over the next several weeks. If by the time he reaches seven months, things look okay we would go ahead and deliver. At seven months, his chances of survival increase to over 80%; especially with the drugs to improve his lungs."

"What about JJ?" Garcia asked.

"It is possible that her lung could heal on its own, highly unlikely but still a possibility. Basically we would be keeping her alive long enough to deliver her son. At that point there will not be much we can do for her. The damage to her lung is decreasing her bodies ablity to provide enough oxygen. Eventually the brain will begin to shut down and Agent Jereau will slip further into her coma. Once the baby is born a decision will need to be made on whether or not you continue to prolong Agent Jereau's life."

"So basically you are saying we have to choose between JJ's life and her son's life?" Morgan asked as he blinked back tears. The doctor simply nodded.

"The baby." Emily said softly; just above a whisper.

"Are you sure Emily?" Morgan asked looking over at her.

"You heard her Morgan. She made me promise to save the baby." Emily said as tears ran down her face. Emily looked up and found the doctor's eyes. "Do what you have to save our son. That is what she wanted."

"Ok, we will start administering the drugs to stimulate the baby's lung development and try to make Agent Jereau as comfortable as possible. I'm sorry I didn't have better news. Let me know if you need anything." The doctor shook Hotch's hand and then left the room.

Two hours later the doctor returned and was explaining what was going on; what drugs they were giving her and other various information. Emily was finding it difficult to focus on what he was saying. All she could think about was the fact that she had ultimately made the decision that in time would cost JJ her life. She chose to let JJ die in order to safe her son's life. The doctor was just about to turn and leave when a frantic Susan Jereau came running into the waiting room.

"Is my daughter okay?" Susan asked looking directly at the doctor who was standing in front of Emily.

"Mrs. Jereau this is Dr. Jenkins. He is treating JJ." Hotch stated. "Dr. Jenkins this is JJ's mother Susan Jereau." Dr. Jenkins nodded and held out his hand.

"Is my daughter okay?" Susan asked again ignoring the doctor's hand.

"She is stable." He replied and then proceeded to explain everything that he had told the team earlier again. Hotch watched as Susan became angry, almost irate. He expected tears, not anger.

"NO, NO, NO!" Susan all but yelled. "That woman," she said pointing to Emily "has no power when it comes to my daughter. You do what ever you have to do to save my daughter."

"Mrs. Jereau I understand that you are upset; but according to Agent Prentiss this what Agent Jereau wanted." The doctor told her.

"I don't care what she told you. She can't not make decisions in regards to my daughter's health. I lost my husband last year; I cannot lose my daughter too. You do what you have to." Susan stated firmly.

"Please Mrs. Jereau; don't do this." Emily pleaded. However, Susan never took her eyes off of the doctor.

"Save my daughter." The doctor nodded and turned to Emily.

"I'm sorry Agent Prentiss, but unless you have something stating you are Jennifer's medical proxy; I have to abide by the wishes of the family."

"You can't do this. Please I'm her wife. She made me promise." Emily said as tears ran down her face.

"I'm sorry but in the eyes of the law you are not legally married. I am truly sorry but my hands are tied." The doctor said with sympathy in his eyes. "I will get everything prepped for Agent Jereau's surgery." He said as he turned back to Susan. Susan nodded and the doctor left.

"Please Susan don't do this. This is not what JJ's wanted." Emily begged.

"I don't care; I am doing this to save my daughter."

"JJ made me promise that I would save the baby; please."

"Well I guess that is just another promise you won't be able to keep, now isn't it." Susan snapped. "You've gotten pretty good at breaking promises lately." Rossi looked over at Hotch who simply shrugged his shoulders; clearly both men had missed something.

"Please, Susan don't make this about me. I know that we haven't always agreed but you have to understand that I'm only doing what JJ wanted; what's best."

"What's best? You are honestly standing there telling me that letting my daughter die is what is best for her?"

"Of course not! I love her. Do think I want her to die?" Emily snapped.

"You love her? That's a joke! Tell me Emily how is your girlfriend?" Susan said with venom in her eyes. Emily paled at the mention of Lisa in front of the team. Outside of Morgan and Garcia, no one else knew. "Oh they don't know do they?" Susan said with a slight laugh as she noticed everyone's blank stare. "They don't know how you cheated on your wife like the cheap whore that you are?" Susan spat angrily.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Morgan yelled causing everyone to jump. "Emily made a mistake. One that she regrets every day; but she loves your daughter very much." Morgan said stepping in front of Emily who was stunned into silence. "And like it or not, your daughter loves her too. Right now JJ is in there fighting for not only her life but the life of her child. I don't care what you think of Emily right now; but you will not sit there and call my friend a 'cheap whore' while the love of her life is dying. Do you understand me?" Morgan bellowed. Susan didn't have the nerve to say anything. "Ok good. Now Emily and I both heard JJ ask to save her son's life over hers. You have to honor your daughter's wishes."

"I'm sorry Agent Morgan but I don't. She is my daughter and I will do as I see fit." And with that Susan turned and stormed out of the waiting room. Morgan turned and slammed his fist into the wall once again causing everyone to jump. Emily walked over and silently put her good arm around him and pulled him into a hug. The rest of the team watched them in silence.

Another forty minutes passed and Doctor Jenkins returned to the waiting room.

"We are about to take Agent Jereau to surgery. I'm really sorry Agent Prentiss. I wish there was something I could do."

"I know you do." Emily said quietly. "This is not what JJ wanted. What am I going to do when she wakes up and finds out our son is gone?" Emily asked as new tears fell. The doctor didn't know what to say, so he opted for silence. "Will I be able to see him after the c-section?"

"As soon as the procedure is done he will placed in nicu for 24 hour monitoring. You will be able to see him there; but I must warn you at this stage, the chances of him surviving more than a few hours is unlikely." Emily nodded. "I got Mrs. Jereau to agree to letting you see Jennifer before her surgery. So if you will follow me I can show you to her room."

"Thank you." Emily said as she turned to face Morgan.

"We'll be here when you get back." Morgan said as he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Emily nodded and turned to follow the doctor to JJ's room.

As soon as Emily walked in Susan placed a kiss on JJ's cheek and then turned to walk out.

"Take as much time as you need." Doctor Jenkins said before following Susan out of the room.

Emily walked over to the bed and took JJ's hand.

"I'm so sorry baby." Emily cried. "I know I promised you that I would save our baby, but I can't. I've let you down again. I'm soooo sorry." Emily looked up at the baby monitor that was showing their sons strong heart beat. "I tired to make your mother understand, but she doesn't want to lose you. God what I wouldn't give to see your beautiful blue eyes right now. Please baby, if you can hear me; I need you to wake up. I need to you prove to the doctors that you can do this without the surgery or the medicine. Our son won't survive if they take him now; so I need you to wake up. Please sweetie, our son needs you to wake up." Emily begged as more tears fell. Emily laid her head down on the edge of the bed and silently begged for JJ to wake up. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm so sorry for everything." Emily said never lifting her head from the bed. "I'm sorry about Lisa, the drinking, everything. I love you so much." Emily slowly lifted her head off the bed and turned to take one last look at the baby monitor. The heart beat strong and steady. As she turned back to JJ, she thought for a moment she was dreaming. "JJ! OH MY GOD!! Jennifer!" Emily yelled as saw the brightest pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

A/N- Another cliffhanger, I know what can I say….So what do you think???? PLEASE REVIEW (only nine more reviews to reach 100…just sayin….lol…)


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- Wow!! The response to this story has been nothing short of amazing. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or sent a PM. I was really nervous about this story to begin with so I am glad you are enjoying.

CHAPTER 11….

"JJ! OH MY GOD!! Jennifer!" Emily yelled as saw the brightest pair of blue eyes staring back at her. Dr. Jenkins who had been standing in the hallway came running back into the room. "She's awake!" Emily yelled as JJ's eyes moved back and forth between Emily's and the doctor's.

"Agent Jereau, can you hear me? Blink if you can." Dr. Jenkins asked. Quickly JJ blinked. "I'm Dr. Jenkins. Do you know where you are? Blink once for yes, twice for no." JJ blinked once. "Do you remember what happened?" Another blink. "Good, that's good. We have you are a ventilator to help you breath. Your right lung was severely damaged. Are you in any pain?" Slowly JJ blinked her eyes twice. Then in a moment of panic JJ reached up and grabbed Emily's hand that was resting on her belly.

"Calm down sweetie. The baby is fine. See right here," Emily let go of JJ's hand and pointed at the baby monitor, "that is Matthew's heart beat. Steady and strong." Emily said through her own tears. JJ closed her eyes, as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Agent Jereau, I need to ask you some more questions." JJ opened her eyes and turned her attention back to Dr. Jenkins. "In order for your lung to heal properly you need an additional surgery and a series of some rather strong medicine. Unfortunately this medicine will be quite harmful to your son. We would need to perform an emergency c-section and at this point his chances of survival are very slim." At this point JJ began blinking her eyes rapidly. She turned to face Emily and grabbed her hand; placing it back on her belly.

"I know I promised, but your mother is here and technically I don't have any rights." Emily said with fresh tears. JJ let go of Emily's hand and motioned in the air that she wanted something to write with. Dr. Jenkins pulled the nurse's small dry erase board from the wall and held it for JJ to write on. In big letters JJ wrote one word BABY! She turned the board around so the doctor could read it and he nodded.

"Okay Agent Jereau I understand; but I need you to realize the consequences of doing this. Your lung is damaged to the point that it is not providing enough oxygen to your body. Eventually you will slip into a coma and while we can make you as comfortable as possible, at this point you would be nothing more than a human incubator." JJ grabbed the dry erase board and circled with word baby several times and then pushed it back into the doctor's hand. "Okay. I'm going to give you some medicine to help you rest." JJ blinked okay and then turned to face Emily. Dr. Jenkins motioned for the nurse who was now in the room to go ahead and administer the drugs. Emily brought JJ's hand to her lip and gently kissed her knuckles. Within seconds JJ was fast asleep.

Once JJ was asleep again, Dr. Jenkins and Emily made their way back to the waiting room to tell the other.

"What's wrong?" Garcia gasped as she saw the look on Emily's face.

"She woke up." Emily said a single tear ran down her face.

"WHAT?" Can the collective response from the team.

"She's awake?" Susan asked as she quickly joined the group.

"I gave her some medicine to sleep; but yes she did wake up. I have to admit that I am surprised."

"Well what does that mean? Is she going to be okay now?" Morgan asked, praying it meant everything was going to be okay.

"Unfortunately the fact that Jennifer woke up does not change things. Her lung is still badly damaged." Morgan closed his eyes; that was not what he wanted to hear.

"So when are you taking her to surgery?" Susan asked; getting an anger glare from Garcia and Morgan.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jereau but Jennifer was very adamant that we save her son first. We will continue to provide Jennifer with medicine to help her rest and make her as comfortable as possible but that is it." The doctor explained.

"No you can't do that." Susan said with tears in her eyes. "She is my daughter, you have to save her."

"I'm sorry but Jennifer was very clear in her wishes. Now if you will excuse me I must see my other patients. I will check in Jennifer in a few hours. You are welcome to sit with her, but I would request no more than two at a time."

"Thank you doctor." Hotch replied shaking his hand. The doctor nodded and turned to leave.

"No you have to…" Susan begged as she went to chase after the doctor but was quickly stopped by Morgan. Morgan wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed against him. "She's my daughter. I can't lose her." She sobbed into Morgan's chest. Emily watched the scene unfold in front of her and although her and Susan had never gotten along, it was truly heartbreaking.

Three days later, Emily awoke to find JJ's nurse in the room running a pulmonary test on JJ's lungs. The doctor had requested that one be run daily so they could monitor JJ's lung capacity. So far there had been no change; which was both good and bad. Good that her lung was not getting worse but bad because it also meant it wasn't improving.

"Good morning Emily." Dr. Jenkins smiled as he walked into JJ's room. "How is your arm?"

"It's okay. Still a little sore." Emily replied looking down at her arm; still bandaged and still encased in the sling.

"Have you been taking you pain medication?" He asked although he knew the answer and as he expected all he got in return was a glare. Emily had refused her pain medication because they made her sleepy and she did not want to be drugged up if something happened to JJ or her son. "Well just thought I would ask." He said with a laugh. "Where is Mrs. Jereau?" He asked noticing the empty chair next to the bed.

"She left last night; went back home. She said she couldn't sit here and watch her daughter die." Emily said as her eyes glassed over. Emily walked over and sat down beside JJ's bed and picked up her hand. They had been keeping her sedated; meaning she had only been awake for about 10 minutes in the past three days.

"It's understandable." Dr. Jenkins said as he picked up the results of the latest pulmonary test. "Well that's odd." He said with a confused look on his face. Emily felt her heart skip a beat.

"What? What's wrong?" Emily asked as her panic rose.

"This shows her lung function increased in the last 24 hours."

"Are you serious?" Emily asked; still clinging to JJ's hand.

"I'm going to have them run it again to verify." He said pushing the call button for the nurse. "I don't want you getting your hopes up; this could just be a fluke."

"I understand." Emily said praying to any god that would listen for just this one miracle.

The nurse came and repeated the test and just like before it showed increased lung function. Once again the doctor told Emily not to get her hopes up that they would know more in the morning. The next morning rolled around and sure enough there was once again an increase in lung function. Over the next three days each test showed more and more improvement. Dr. Jenkins said that it was nothing short of a miracle.

"I must say Emily, that your wife here is a one ornery woman." He said with a laugh as he read the latest results.

"More like stubborn." Emily smiled her first real smile since the whole ordeal began seven days before.

"I am going to stop giving her the sedative. I would like to wake her up and see if she is experiencing any discomfort." He said as he wrote on JJ's chart. "Although I am going to keep her on the ventilator until I am certain she can breathe on her own." Emily nodded and he left the room.

It was about mid afternoon when Emily noticed JJ began to stir.

"JJ, sweetie, open your eyes." Emily said ran thumb across JJ's knuckles. "Come on I know you can do it." Slowly but surely JJ opened her eyes. "There you are. Welcome back." Emily smiled as a tear ran down her check. "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" JJ blinked twice. "That's good. Dr. Jenkins is going to be in later to check on you; but he said that you are doing great; said it's a miracle actually." Emily took her and JJ's hand and placed them onto of JJ's almost 6 month belly. "And Matthew is doing great too." Emily could almost see the relief wash over JJ.

Emily sat there in silence; rubbing JJ's belly as JJ slowly drifted back off to sleep, the sedative still not completely out of her system.

Two days later, a now fully awake JJ was listening to Morgan tell a story about his and Garcia's date the night before. Garcia had finally convinced Emily to go home, meaning Quantico, to get some clean clothes and pick up some stuff for JJ. Emily hadn't wanted to leave but Garcia was not about to take no for an answer. The next day JJ was being transferred to Georgetown University Hospital in Washington DC. Although she was still on the ventilator JJ was making miraculous progress.

As Emily drove back to the hospital she thought about how close she had come to losing her. In a blink of an eye she almost lost the two most important people in her life. Her wife and her son. It still made her heart twinge just thinking about it.

Once she got back to the hospital, Morgan and Garcia left. Leaving just Emily and JJ. Emily pulled the bracelet out of her pocket and sat down on the edge of JJ's bed.

"JJ I bought this for you several weeks ago when we went shopping for baby stuff." She held up the bracelet for JJ to see. "I know that I screwed up and I know that I don't deserve another chance; but I love you and I love our son." Emily placed the bracelet on JJ's wrist; all the while tears poured down her face. "And I am going to prove to you that I can be the woman you fell in love with again. I don't care if it takes the rest of my life to do it, I will prove it to you." Emily wiped away the tear that ran down JJ's cheek. "And that starts tonight by telling you what happened in that compound and telling you everything that has happened since." Emily said quietly as her own tears fell. Emily spent the rest of the night confessing everything to JJ, while JJ held her hand. Tears were shed from both, as Emily confessed all of indiscretions, all of her deepest darkest secrets, everything.

A/N- Okay so I realize that was really mean…. but I promise you will learn all of Emily's secrets in the next chapter…. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N- Okay so here is the next chapter.... and yes you will finally learn Emily's secret.....Enjoy...

Chapter 12...

One week later JJ was finally off of the ventilator. It was nothing short of a miracle and JJ was well on her way to making a full recovery. She was now six months along and so far that baby was showing no effects from the event.

Emily had been a constant figure in JJ's room; only leaving at night when JJ would all but kick her out. After Emily's confession, things between the two of them were slightly better. Emily had started going to therapy again and was doing well with her AA meetings. She was determined not to screw this up again. She had almost lost JJ permanently and she couldn't even put into words how much it hurt.

Currently Emily was sitting in JJ's hospital room reading a magazine, while JJ slept. JJ's body was still healing and they still had her on some pretty strong, although safe for the baby, pain medication.

"Hey girl." Morgan said as he and the rest of the team walked into the room. They had all been given a three week vacation; so they made daily visits to see JJ.

"Hey guys." Emily smiled as she noticed JJ waking up. "JJ, you got some visitors."

"Don't tell me it's the team again." JJ said in mock disgust before opening her eyes and smiling.

"Ha, ha. Very funny little mama." Garcia snickered. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore, but so ready to go home." JJ told her.

"Well I think I might be able to help you with that." Dr. Livingston said as he walked into the room. "Well aren't you Miss Popular this afternoon." He teased as he looked around the room at the team.

"They're just grateful to not be at work." JJ smiled.

"Hey that hurts." Morgan teased grabbing at his chest.

"Anyways." JJ laughed. "What were you saying about going home?"

"Well I am happy to report that everything seems to be progressing nicely and that you can finally go home. With some limitations of course."

"What kind of limitations?" Emily asked.

"Well unfortunately complete bed rest until the baby is born. That is something that Dr. Williams and I are in total agreement on. I know that means three months of doing nothing…"

"I will do whatever it takes to make sure this one," JJ laid her hand on her belly, "arrives safely."

"I'm glad to hear that. Most people get a little upset at the prospect of bed rest." Dr. Livingston smiled. "Do you have someone that can stay with you during the day?"

"Yes. Mrs. Andrews my neighbor is going to stay with me. I already figured that I was going to be home for while, so I have already talked to her. I'm sure she won't mind it being longer than I thought." Emily stared at JJ in shock. With everything that had happened Emily assumed that JJ would be coming home with her; to their house. Emily had even begun looking into private nurses to be there when she went back to work.

"So… so you're going to be staying at Morgan's?" Emily asked quietly; struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. JJ looked over at Emily and realized what Emily must have thought.

"I'm sorry guys, can you give Emily and I have a minute?"

"Sure." Hotch said as the team turned to leave.

"I'll get your discharge papers in order. If you have any questions let me know."

"Thank you doctor." JJ said, shaking his hand. As soon as he left the room she turned her attention back to Emily.

"When did you decide to stay at Morgan's?" Emily asked.

"It really wasn't a decision to make. I'm sorry if you thought that I was going to be moving back home; but I'm not ready for that and to be honest I'm not sure I ever will be."

"How can you say that? After everything we have been through. After everything we have survived."

"Look Emily I'm not going to deny that I don't love you, because I do. I love you with all that…"

"Then come home. Lets be a family again."

"Emily please let me finish." JJ said as she took Emily's hand. Emily nodded. "I love you, but that still doesn't take away the hurt. My heart is just not in it any more. I can't go though this again. I can't keep putting myself out there only to keep getting hurt. I know you're sorry and I understand that pain that you went through but I just can't keep doing this." Emily looked into JJ's eyes and noticed for the first time that they seemed duller than before this whole mess started. They seemed lifeless and for the first time Emily realized that was all because of her. Slowly Emily stood up and walked to the door.

"I know that I screwed up and you don't know how sorry I am. I wake up everyday thinking about how stupid I was for doing that to someone I love more than my life itself and unfortunately I don't think I'll ever get the answer. I wish that I could change the past but I can't. I don't know what else to say other than I love you." Emily stated firmly as she walked out of her room.

Emily was instantly greeted with a group of worried eyes.

"Everything okay?" Morgan asked

"No its not." Emily said just above a whisper. "I… um… I would like to be alone." Emily wiped away a tray tear and walked away. Morgan turned to follow her but Hotch stopped him.

"You go be with JJ. Let me go talk to her." Morgan nodded and Hotch turned to follow Emily.

Hotch found Emily sitting on bench in the park across from the hospital.

"Mind if I join you?" Hotch asked quietly as to not startle her. Emily's head jerked up and she quickly wiped away her tears.

"I really rather be alone sir." Emily told him; but rather than leave Hotch sat down.

"It really is a nice day, isn't it?"

"Sir, I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood."

"First of all quit calling me sir and second of all I'm not leaving until we talk." Emily sighed in frustration as she realized that she didn't have a choice. "So JJ's going home. That's good news?"

"Yeah, just not to our home." Emily said with a hint of anger.

"You know love is a funny thing. Haley and I loved each other more than life itself but it wasn't enough. In the end all I did was end up hurting her. I choose my job over our marriage."

"Yeah but at least you didn't cheat on your wife."

"So that is what Mrs. Jereau meant when she asked about your girlfriend?" Hotch replied back shocked at Emily's confession. Emily simply nodded. "What where you thinking Emily? You sat there in my office and told me that you would never hurt her. How could you?" Emily's heart broke at the sound of disappointment in her boss' voice.

"You remember the case that Reid and I were kidnapped in the compound in Colorado?" Hotch nodded. "I might have left something out about my attack."

"What do you mean you 'might have left something out'?" Hotch didn't like where this was going.

"After Cyrus left, the other two goons took turns… they took turns …"

"They took turns what Emily?"

"They raped me." Emily said as fresh tears fell. "I think I blacked out after the second time. When I woke up some woman was cleaning my cuts. I have no idea what happened while I was unconscious."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? How could you leave that out of the report?" Hotch demanded to know; suddenly switching from friend to boss.

"I didn't want anyone to know. I knew that Reid would blame himself and I was afraid that might push him back to the drugs. I especially didn't want JJ to know because I didn't want her to look at me differently. I was afraid that she wouldn't love me any more. I am not the same Emily that went into that compound."

"So you decided to just handle it all on your own?" Hotch fumed. "Tell me Emily, how well did that work out for you?"

"Not to great." Emily offered a slight chuckle. "I started drinking to make the pain stop and then when that didn't work I did something I never thought I would do. I found some nameless blonde and cheated on my wife. The only woman I have ever loved and I cheated on her."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Emily cried. "But then I found out that JJ was pregnant with my child. With our child. I started going to AA meetings and seeing the Bureau therapist. Everything was going good until I saw JJ having dinner with Will and I lost it. I accused her of having an affair behind my back. Just when she was starting to forgive me, I went and screwed it up again. Then this happened." Emily said pointing at the hospital.

"Emily to say that I am disappointed is an understatement. WE promised each other after watching what Reid went through that we wouldn't keep secrets from each other. I am your boss. I needed to know if you were having problems. I can't protect you if you don't tell me what is going on." Hotch ran his hand over his face.

"I know that Hotch and I'm sorry."

"I have to know that I can trust you. Trust you to do this job with a clear head." Emily nodded. "If I can't do that then I'm going to have to transfer you to another department." Emily's head shot up.

"No, no, no! You can't do that. The BAU is the only family I have. You can't transfer me. Please Hotch." Emily begged.

"Emily I'm not going to transfer you." Emily breathed a sigh of relief. "And as your boss I am not going to put this in your file but I expect monthly reports from both your AA meetings and your therapist."

"Thank you sir." Emily replied wiping away her tears. "I promise I won't let you down again.

"Now as your friend," Hotch wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I am not going to sit here and tell you everything is going to be okay, because what you did was wrong. But what I will tell you is give it some time. JJ still loves you and I assume you still love her right?"

"With all of my heart."

"Then just give her some time. If it is meant to be than it will all work out. If not, so be it. Just remember it's not about you and JJ any more. It's about your son. He is going to need both of his mommies." Hotch smiled.

"Thank Hotch." Emily said laying her head on his shoulder. "And I am going to spend the rest of my life proving to JJ and to our son that I can be a better person. That I am not the same person that did those things."

"I have no doubt that you will." Hotch smiled. "No doubt at all."

A/N- So what do you think???? PLEASE REVIEW....


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- Okay so here is the next chapter… I'm really not a fan of it… So I'm really interested in what you think…

A/N- Also, on a side note… a couple people mentioned that Hotch wasn't very sympathetic to Emily when she told him she was raped… I did that on purpose… Part of Hotch struggling with the whole friend vs. boss thing… Hotch becomes a very big confidant for Emily in future chapters…

CHAPTER 13…

JJ was released from the hospital the next day with strict orders from the doctor. Bed rest was a must. She was only allowed to make the short walk to the bathroom or the living room. Over the next few weeks Mrs. Andrews became a permanent fixture in the apartment. She would stay with JJ during the day and when the team was away on a case. Mrs. Andrews had developed a certain fondness for JJ. She began to think of the blonde woman like a daughter and she was determined to make sure she made it through the rest of her pregnancy with ease. That was why when JJ's mother showed up two weeks after JJ had been released from the hospital Mrs. Andrews stood just outside the bedroom door in case she was needed.

_Flashback…_

_"Mom! What are you doing here?" JJ asked as she sat up in her bed; shocked to see her mother standing there. _

_"I came to see how you were doing?" She asked; still standing about four feet from the bed. _

_"I'm doing good." JJ said putting her hand on her belly. "We're doing good." _

_"That's good." Susan replied quietly._

_"Mom, not to sound rude or anything but why are you really here?" JJ asked. "I have been home for two weeks and was in the hospital for three without a single call." _

_"I couldn't sit there and watch you die JJ." She defended herself. _

_"But I didn't die mom. Once I started improving why didn't you come back?" _

_"Because I…. I…. You choose her over me. Your own mother."_

_"What are you talking about?" _

_"You choose Emily over me." Susan said starting to get angry. _

_"I choose my child." JJ said quickly. "I choose to let my child live and it is a choice I would make every time. Can't you see that? How could you go against my wishes? When Emily and Morgan told you what I wanted you still went with your own decision."_

_"That woman has no rights when it comes to you. She is the reason you are the why you are."_

_"The way I am?" JJ asked confused. "What way is that?" _

_"Pregnant with her child. Married to a woman." Susan spat._

_"SO you think that Emily made me gay?" JJ asked shocked at what her mother had just said. She had always thought that her parents were okay with her being gay but apparently that wasn't the case. "I hate to break this to you mom but I was gay long before I met Emily."_

_"Don't talk like that JJ." Susan yelled. "You are just confused. Emily… she… she has your mind all twisted." Susan yelled louder. Upon hearing the yelling Mrs. Andrews decided that she had heard enough. She was sure that all this yelling was not good for JJ, especially since she was suppose to keep a handle on her blood pressure. She opened the bedroom door and quickly walked inside. _

_"I think it is time for you to leave Mrs. Jereau." Mrs. Andrews said quietly and evenly. _

_"I'm not done here." Susan snapped. _

_"I think you are." Mrs. Andrews replied soundly. For a woman in her seventies she was not one to back down from a fight. She thought of JJ and Morgan like her kids and no one did anything to upset her kids. "If you do not leave I will call the police." She said picking up the cordless phone from the bedside table. _

_"Just who do you think you are?" Susan spat._

_"I am someone who loves your daughter very much. Which is more than I can say for you. My husband and I were never fortunate enough to have children, god rest his soul; but I can guarantee you if we had we would have loved them unconditionally, gay or not!" JJ could feel the tears welling up in her eyes are Mrs. Andrews defended her. "So are you going to leave on your own or do I have to call for re-enforcements?" Susan stared at Mrs. Andrews for a while and then turned and stormed out in a huff. Mrs. Andrews put down the phone and turned to JJ. "Are you okay sweetie?" JJ nodded as the tears ran down her face. _

JJ didn't see or hear from her mother again. Which, although it hurt at first, she had to admit was probably for the best. By the time JJ reached 8 ½ months she was bored out of her mind. Spending everyday in bed for the past two months had driven her to point of madness. The only thing that made JJ able to survive was at night Morgan, Garcia, and Emily would come over for movie night. Sometimes other members of the team would come over as well, which made JJ happy. She thoroughly enjoyed their company. Emily would come over with Morgan after work and then stay until JJ went to bed. She was scared that something was going to happen and she wouldn't be there. Although Emily knew that she still loved JJ will of her heart, she was beginning to believe that they would never get back together. She was starting to believe that friends was as close as they were going to get. Though she did have to admit that she rather had JJ as a friend than not have her at all. The only thing that truly bothered her was the fact that JJ might one day move on and meet someone new. The thought of JJ with someone else terrified her.

Currently Emily stood on the stage at the health center as she awaited the meeting leader to present her with her three month sober coin. Reid was sitting in the front row grinning from ear to ear. He was extremely proud of Emily. He for one knew how hard it was to admit that you had a problem and deal with it. Emily tried to focus on what the man was saying about her but her mind kept drifting back to a conversation she had the night before with Mrs. Andrews. It amazed her how this little lady had become such a key part of their lives.

_Flashback…_

_"Hey Mrs. Andrews." Emily smiled as she walked into Morgan and JJ's apartment. She still hated how that sounded but then again it was true. It wasn't just Morgan's apartment anymore. "Morgan wanted me to tell you that him and Garcia were going to grab some dinner and that they would be home later. Is JJ in her room?" Emily asked as she noticed the couch empty. _

_"She's asleep." Mrs. Andrews replied as she motioned for Emily to join her at the kitchen table. She was looking through what Emily assumed were old family photo albums. _

_"Oh." Emily frowned before sitting down next to Mrs. Andrews. "What you looking at?"_

_"That is my late husband, Michael." She said pointing to an old black and white photo. _

_"He was very handsome." Emily smiled. _

_"Yes he was. We were married 49 years." She said with sadness in her voice. "But that doesn't mean we didn't have our problems." She said closing the album and turning to face Emily. "Jennifer told me you are getting your three month coin tomorrow." Emily nodded. "That is good. I'm proud of you and I know that Jennifer is too." Emily blinked back a tear. "Let me show you something." Mrs. Andrews got up and walked over to her purse and pulled out a coin. She handed it to Emily and Emily was shocked at what she saw. It was 35 years sober coin. "That was my dear Michael's. You see we had been married for nine years when he lost his job. Things got really hard and he turned to drinking. You don't know how many times I thought about leaving; but unlike Jennifer I had no where to go. I had no job, no friends to speak of and my parents were strict Catholic. Divorce was not an option in their eyes. So I stayed. It took Michael over two years to admit that he had a problem and then another three to get completely sober. He passed away one week before he was to get his 35 year coin. They gave it to me in his honor. He went to a meeting once a week until the day he died."_

_"Wow. 35 years." Emily stared at the coin. "And here I am excited about three months." _

_"And you should be." Mrs. Andrews said putting her arm around Emily's shoulder. "If Michael was here he would tell you that the first year is the hardest; but you are on the right path. I have faith in you."_

_"Thank you." Emily said as wiped a tear away from her cheek. "I just wish I hadn't screwed this up so badly. I just wish I could go back in time and fix everything"_

_"But you can't." Mrs. Andrews simply said. "All you can do now is work towards making the future better."_

_"I'm starting to think that there is no future for me and JJ anymore."_

_"Hosh posh." She laughed. "Michael and I, while we never got a divorce; we slept in separate rooms for almost three years. And then even once he was going to the meetings and getting help it took me another year to fully trust him again. It's not going to be easy but give it time. Things will get better; you'll see. Trust me." _

_"Thank you." Emily smiled; as she handed Mrs. Andrews back the coin. _

_"No you keep it." She said pushing Emily's hand back. "You keep it till you get your one year."_

Emily was snapped out of her daydream as the meeting leader said her name. Just as she stepped to the podium she felt her phone vibrate on her hip; however she ignored it.

"I'm not going to stand up here and tell you that it was easy, because it wasn't." Emily said as she felt her phone vibrate again. She glanced down at her phone and saw that she had a text message from Morgan. "I have a lot of people to thank. I have to thank my sponser, Reid." She smiled as she looked down at Reid. "And I have to thank… JJ's water broke?" Emily said crinkling her nose as she finally read Morgan's text. "OH MY GOD! JJ's water broke. OH MY GOD! I'm having a baby." Emily screamed as she continued to stare at the phone in her hands. "I'm having a baby!" She yelled as she jumped down from the stage and grabbed Reid's hand. Together they ran down the aisle towards the door among a roar of cheers.

A/N- Okay so tell me… what did you think??? PLEASE REVIEW…


	14. Chapter 14

A/N- Finally Baby Matthew is born!!! Yea!!! It's been a long journey, but it's not over yet…. I have a few more chapters left in me…..Enjoy…

CHAPTER 14…..

Emily and Reid ran into the hospital Labor Delivery room and quickly found the rest of the team already there.

"How is she?" Emily asked as she tried to regain her breath.

"Good lord woman, calm down before you hyperventilate." Morgan said motioning for Emily to sit down. "Garcia is helping her get settled into her room while they get her all hooked up to the monitors and the nurses get all her information." Emily took a deep breath and nodded.

"How far apart are her contractions?" Emily asked as she sat down next to Morgan.

"Still seven minutes apart." Morgan answered. "She was complaining that he back was hurting and she couldn't get comfortable, so Garcia suggested that maybe sitting in the recliner would help. She had no more than stood up and her water broke."

"I can't believe this is really happening. I can't believe in a few hours I'm going to be a mom." Emily smiled as she still tried to wrap her mind around the idea.

"JJ said something very similar to that on our way here." Morgan laughed.

"Is everything okay though? I mean she's too weeks early." Emily asked suddenly a little panicked.

"I called Dr. Williams on our way here to tell her JJ went into labor and she said that she wasn't surprised. She didn't say anything but she thought that JJ might go early. She said between the trauma and the drugs that they gave the baby to stimulate his lungs she was actually surprised she didn't go earlier. She said there was nothing to worry about."

"Okay good." Emily breathed a sigh of relief.

A few minutes later Garcia came out to the waiting room.

"How is she?" Emily asked jumping up from her seat.

"She is good. Dr. Williams is examining her; she told me to wait twenty minutes and then I could come back or send someone else back. She is only allowed to have two visitors at a time."

"Dr. Williams is already here?" Emily asked.

"Yes, she said that with everything that JJ has been through in the last couple months she wants to personally make sure nothing happens. She wants JJ to walk out of here in a couple days with a perfectly healthy baby boy."

"Lord knows we have all had enough stress to last a life time." Rossi said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Did they give you any indication of how long?"

"She was 2cm when she came in and she has to be at 10 to start pushing; so I would say we are all in for a long night."

"Not all of you have to stay, I can…"

"Emily if you think any of us are leaving you're out of your mind. For once we are a hospital awaiting good news and we're not going anywhere. We are family." Hotch stated firmly; leaving no room for discussion. Emily nodded at Hotch before turning to face Garcia again.

"Do you mind if I go back by myself and see her when its time? Just for a little while and then someone else can come back."

"Of course not." Garcia replied sitting down next to Emily and placing a hand on her leg. "That is your son back there; you don't even have to ask."

"Thank you Garcia." Emily said quietly as she tried to hold back the tears.

Emily waited the prescribed twenty minutes and after some quick directions from Garcia Emily made her way back to JJ's room. She was standing outside JJ's room trying to calm her nerves when Dr. Williams walked out.

"Hello Emily." Dr. Williams smiled. "Glad to see you made it. You excited?"

"More like nervous as hell."

"Well that is understandable. All first time parents are nervous; but so far everything looks great. She is currently at 2cm so we still have a ways to go."

"Thank you for coming in and looking after her. I know that is not normal procedure."

"You are welcome. I just want to make sure everything goes okay. JJ's body has been through a lot in the last few months and while I'm sure everything will be okay I want to make sure nothing goes wrong. I think the nurses are already plotting my death though. I told them I wanted JJ checked every 15 minutes; they looked at me like I was crazy." Dr. Williams laughed.  
"Do you want me to make sure they see my gun and badge next time they come in?" Emily said with a slight laugh.

"That might do the trick." Dr. Williams smiled before writing something on JJ's chart. "Well I will let you go in and see her. Just relax Emily everything is going to be fine."

"Thank you." Emily said shaking the doctor's hand. Emily took a deep breath and walked into JJ's room. "Hey how are you feeling?" Emily asked as she walked up the side of the bed

"Like our child hates me." JJ groaned through a contraction. "You have no idea how bad this hurts." JJ said as the contraction began to wind down.

"Can I get you anything?" Emily asked not really liking to see JJ in pain.

"No unfortunately." JJ offered a smile.

"How far apart are they?"

"About six minutes. You can see them on that monitor there." JJ said pointing to one of the numerous monitors. JJ was hooked up to. "And that one is Matthew's heartbeat." JJ said pointing to the top on.

"Really?" Emily asked in awe. "It's really fast, is everything okay?"

"Dr. Williams said that it was normal when in labor for the baby's heart rate to go up. High is not bad, low is a problem." JJ said as she looked at the heart rate. "But she said so far so good. She did say that she was going to put an OR on hold just in case she needed to do a c-section but she didn't think that was likely."

"Let's pray she's right." Emily glanced down at the contraction monitor and noticed it was starting to go up. "Looks like another contraction is coming." Emily said as she took JJ's hand.

"No shit Sherlock." JJ grimaced in pain. JJ squeezed Emily's hand Emily was sure she broke every bone in there.

Over the next 14 hours, every member of the team made their way back to visit JJ; however, Emily never left. She was a nervous wreck and JJ was exhausted. It was now 9am and neither one had any sleep. The last time Dr. Williams had checked JJ was at 8cm, so she had told them it would probably be a couple more hours. Emily wasn't sure how much more JJ could take. The contractions were coming every 2 minutes and each one seemed stronger than the last. Emily had tried to convince JJ to get an epidural but JJ had refused; saying that she had already had enough drugs in her system from when she got shot she didn't want anymore.

"So how are things going in here?" Dr. Williams asked as she walked into the room.

"We're still here." Emily said with a tired smile.

"Emily, why don't you go get something to eat or something? We still have couple more hours and trust me once little Matthew is born you are not going to want to leave for anything." She said with a laugh.

"No I'm fine." Emily replied.

"Emily, I'm not going anywhere, so why don't you go get something to eat? You have to be hungry." JJ replied in between contractions. "I promise everything will be okay."

"Are you sure?" Emily asked not really wanting to leave but she was hungry, a little breakfast sounded good.

"I'm positive. Just send Morgan back here before you leave. I need to squeeze someone's hand during these… awwww…" JJ screamed as another contraction hit. Emily grimaced as JJ squeezed her hand to the point she thought it might explode.

"Just breathe." Emily said as she felt JJ's hand relax its death like grip. "Better?" JJ nodded. "Okay well I'll go get something to eat and I'll be right back. You'll call me if anything changes?" Emily asked turning to Dr. Williams.

"Of course."

"Okay, I'll send Morgan in." Emily leaned over and gave JJ a quick kiss on the forehead and left.

"Things seem to be going pretty good for you two." Dr. Williams stated as she examined JJ.

"Things are better; I just don't think we will ever be where we once were." JJ said just as another contraction hit. "Damn it where the hell is Morgan?" JJ said through gritted teeth.

"Right here." Morgan smiled as he walked over to the bed. "How are you… awwww!" Morgan screamed out in pain as JJ grabbed his hand. "Man Emily wasn't kidding." Morgan replied massaging his hand once JJ let go.

Emily watched as Morgan made his way to JJ's room and then she turned to the rest of the team.

"I'm going to get something to eat. I'll be right back." Emily said as she turned to leave.

"Hang on; I'll join you." Hotch said standing up to follow her. "How is she doing?" Hotch asked once they were in the elevator.

"Good. Dr. Williams said it should be soon. Couple more hours maybe."

"How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there. It just feels weird. She is about to give birth to our son and yet everything is still so fucked up." Emily paused for a minute before continuing. "Did you know that I asked her to move in with me again last month, you know after the baby was born and all? I even told her I would stay in the guest bedroom. I just wanted her and our son at home with me."

"What did she say?" Hotch asked as they got off on the second floor and made their way to the cafeteria.

"She said she wasn't ready and she doubted she ever would be. She said that she didn't think we would ever be able to get back to where we were." Emily looked down at her wedding ring as her and Hotch sat down at a table and then she pulled a necklace out from under her shirt that contained JJ's wedding ring. "I tired to give this back to her and she said no, that since I paid for them I should keep it."

"I'm sorry to hear that Emily." Hotch said reaching out to take Emily's hand. "I know that you want everything back to the way they were but right now you need to focus on your son and think what is best for him."

"I know." Emily said quietly picking at her muffin suddenly not in the mood to eat. "Thanks for listening. It's nice to have some one to talk too."

"Any time Emily. I know that I might have come off a bit strong when you told me about the rape but you know that you can call me night or day, you know that right?" Emily nodded. "Good, the more I thought about how I reacted the more I felt like I had let you down. The line between friend and boss can get a little blurry sometimes."

"No you were right Hotch, I should have told you. I should never have tried to hide it and I do appreciate your friendship. I really do."

"Okay well onto happier things; tell me, how did your meeting go last night?"

"Really good." Emily said as she wiped a tear from her cheek and produced a slight smile. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her 3 month coin. She looked at if for a minute and then handed it to Hotch. "They had just given me that when I got Morgan's text." Emily smiled.

"I'm very proud of you Emily." Hotch smiled back. "I know that this," he held up the coin, "hasn't been easy and it is far from over but this is a great start."

"Thank you Hotch. It means a lot to hear you say that." Hotch handed Emily back the coin. "I owe a lot of this to Reid though. He has really been there for me. Making sure I attend my meetings regularly, even when we are out of town and making…." Emily stopped as she felt her phone vibrate. She looked down at the text and jumped up. "Dr. Williams says its time! Oh my god! It's time!"

Emily was completely out of breath when she reached JJ's room. Emily replaced Morgan at JJ's side Morgan quietly made his way back to the waiting room. A few minutes later Dr. Williams walked into the room with a pair of nurses.

"Wow that was quick. I was only gone for like twenty minutes."

"Well I might have lied." Dr. Williams laughed.

"What?"

"JJ was at 9cm when you left, so I knew that it would be soon. I just wanted you to get out of the room for a few minutes. You looked like you could use a breather." If it wasn't for that fact that Dr. Williams was right and her talk with Hotch had helped, she would have been pissed. "Okay so are you two ready to see your little boy?" Emily looked over at JJ, who had tears in her eyes and smiled.

"More than ready." Emily replied with a huge grin

"Okay than, on the next contraction I want you to push."

Outside in the waiting room the team waited nervously for news that their newest member was here. Finally after twenty minutes Emily came running into the waiting room.

"IT'S A BOY!" She yelled as she through her arms around Morgan's neck.

"Congratulations Mom." Morgan smiled; giving Emily a kiss on the cheek.

"OH he's perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes. Just perfect!" Emily gushed as she hugged the rest of the team.

"How is JJ?" Hotch asked.

"She is great. It was amazing, she was amazing. I have never experienced anything like it in the world." Emily beamed. "Dr. Williams said that you all could come back and visit for twenty minutes or so. Right now she is still technically limited to two visitors but Dr. Williams asked the staff to make an exception."

"Well lead the way mama bear." Garcia smiled.

"Hey JJ, I brought back some visitors." Emily said she walked into the room followed by the rest of the team.

"Oh JJ, he's beautiful." Garcia said with tears in her eyes.

"Thank you Garcia. Do you want to hold him? He is your god son…" Before JJ could finish Garcia had plucked the baby from JJ's arms.

"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt," the nurse that was in the room said quietly, "but I need his name for the hospital records." JJ looked over at Emily and the team who were all busy cooing over the new baby boy.

"Matthew Gabriel Prentiss." JJ stated firmly and loud enough for everyone to hear. Immediately the room fell into silence.

"JJ… I… but you said… are you sure?" Emily fumbled through her words.

"He is your son. He should have your last name." JJ smiled.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I know that things between us aren't great and I'm not sure what the future holds but you will always be his mother and I will never take that away from you."

"Thank you so much." Emily said through the tears. "Thank you for everything." Emily said looking over at her son that was still nestled in Garcia's arms.

A/N- A little twist with the name there…. lol…. I had all intentions of making him a Prentiss and not a Jareau, but I like the added angst it added earlier in the story…. PLEASE REVIEW…….


	15. Chapter 15

A/N- The end if approaching quickly… I know but it's true…Probably just one more and an epilogue after this….

CHAPTER 15……

Later that afternoon the team had all made their way home so that the new family could get some rest. Once the team had left JJ finally was able to get some much needed sleep; but Emily couldn't bring herself to tare her eyes from for the little bundle sleeping in his crib. Finally unable to take it anymore she reached down and gently picked him up. She cradled her son in her arms and was over come with emotion. She let the tears stream down her face as his little eyes opened and stared up at her.

"Hey little man." Emily said softly, careful not to wake JJ up. "Do you know how much you are loved? You are less than six hours old and you already have the entire BAU wrapped around your little finger. Not to mention your mother and I. We love you so much." Emily used her free hand to wipe the tears from her face. "I don't think I can ever thank your mommy enough for what she had given me. I know it was my idea but with everything that has happened… to allow me to be here is something I will always be grateful for." Emily continued to stare down at her son. She was mesmerized by his dark brown eyes. "I love your mommy very much and although I won't be living with you that doesn't change how I feel about you. You are going to be mommy's special little boy. I don't know what the future holds for your mommy and me but I can promise you that I will always be there for you. Always." Matthew continued to stare up at his mother with wide eyes. Several more minutes passed before Matthew let out a small cry.

"I think he might be hungry." JJ said; her voice still laden with sleep.

"I think you might be right." Emily smiled as she carefully handed Matthew to his mother. "Do you want me to leave?" Emily asked not sure how comfortable JJ would be breast feeding in front of her.

"No you can stay. It's not like you haven't seen them before." JJ teased as she undid her top.

"Well that is true." Emily replied as she ran her hand along her son's downy hair. She watched in amazement as her son greedily attached himself to JJ's nipple.

"Well he is definitely your son." JJ smirked as she watched their son eat.

"So he's already a boob man." Emily laughed and JJ rolled her eyes. "Does it hurt?" Emily asked in awe of what she could only describe as the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

"No, not really; it just feels a little strange." JJ replied as she watched Emily yawn. "Did you get any sleep?"

"I'm scared that if I close my eyes, when I wake up this will have all been a dream." Emily confessed.

"Trust me Emily this is not a dream." JJ smiled. "And since I know I'm not going to be able to convince you go home, why don't you pull out that sleeper over there and take a nap?"

"I'm fine." Emily said through another yawn. JJ simply stared back with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, but just for a few minutes. You wake me if you or Matthew needs anything."

"Just sleep Emily." JJ said as she watched Emily pull out the sleeper and no more than her head hit the pillow JJ could tell she was asleep. "See I told you mommy was tired." JJ said looking down at Matthew who was still busy eating. "I guess you were hungry." JJ laughed softly. "You know I heard your mommy talking to you earlier and she's right you are going to be so loved." JJ turned her attention Emily and sighed. "And she's right I don't know what the future holds but we both will always love you and we will always be there for you." JJ said as a tear ran down her cheek. "You are mommy's little angel. Because of you your mommy got the help she needed and because of you she is going to be okay." JJ said; looking back down at her son. "All because of you."

Two and a half months later and the team was in St. Louis on a high profile kidnapping case. When they traveled Hotch didn't know who was worse Emily or Morgan. He was fairly certain that JJ was about to kill both of them. He seemed like every time he turned around one of them was on the phone with her.

Hotch arrived back at the hotel late one night and found Emily talking on her cell phone. She appeared to be upset so he waited for her to finish before approaching her. He didn't want to ease drop but he was concerned. Emily had already been through so much.

"I know JJ; but he is my son and I want to be there. I want…" Hotch heard her say. "Can you at least think about it?.... Okay, well I will talk to you in the morning….. Good night JJ. Tell Matthew that I love him." Emily wiped a tear from her cheek as she closed her phone.

"Everything okay Emily?" Hotch from behind her causing her to jump.

"Jesus Hotch you scared the crap out of me." Emily said grabbing at her chest.

"Sorry." Hotch chuckled before sitting down on the coffee table in front of her. "Everything okay? Matthew alright?"

"No Matthew is great. Growing like a weed already." Emily smiled; opening up her phone to show Hotch the latest picture.

"Wow he looks more and more like you every day." Hotch smiled at the little boy that had firmly managed to hook his entire team. "JJ nervous about coming back in a couple weeks?"

"No, she said she is ready. Between the shooting and the maternity leave she has been gone for five and half months. She said she is scared to see her office though." Emily said with a half hearted laugh. "She said she going to start looking for apartments soon. She hoping to find one near Morgan's so that Mrs. Andrews can still watch Matthew when we go out of town."

"And you want her to move back home?" Hotch asked realizing what the problem was.

"Something like that." Emily replied quietly. "I want… I want… hell I miss her Hotch. I miss her so much."

"I know you do Emily but I think it might be time to except the fact that what you had with JJ is over. You need to move on. Clearly JJ has." Emily knew that Hotch was right and that she needed to move on; but deep down inside she just couldn't do it.

"But she gave Matthew my last name; that has to mean something right?"

"Honestly I think you are looking for things to keep your hopes up." Emily had a feeling that Hotch was right. Hotch glanced down at Emily's hand that was wrapped tightly in his and for the first time noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring.

"I took it off about a month ago." Emily said realizing what Hotch was looking at. Emily took her free hand and pulled out the necklace that now contained both hers and JJ's ring. "My therapist thought it would help me move on. I haven't told her that I still wear it around my neck though."

"Well at least it's a start." Hotch smiled. They sat there and talked for a couple hours. It always amazed her how much better she felt after she talked with him.

Finally after another two grueling days the team managed to arrest the unsub and returned a hungry, tried, but otherwise unharmed little boy to his family. All and all it was a good day; until Hotch told them that because of bad weather the team was stuck in St. Louis for at least the night.

"Well since we aren't going home tonight, any one up for getting something to drink?" Morgan asked but suddenly began to panic as the team immediately fell silent. "Oh crap, sorry Emily. We could always do dinner or..."

"It's fine Morgan. I am quite capable of going to a bar and not getting a drink." Emily smiled, patting his shoulder.

"You sure?" Morgan asked.

"Yes. Matthew is all the motivation I need to stay sober." Emily smiled just thinking of her little boy. "Plus I'm pretty sure not a one of you is going to let me order anything that even resembles alcohol."

"Well you got that right." Morgan smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "So any one else?"

"I'm tired; I'm going to call it a night." Rossi smiled.

"I think I'm with Rossi. We'll leave the partying to you youngster's." Hotch laughed.

"Okay, have fun you old timers." Morgan teased. "What about you Reid?"

"I think I'm going to head back to the hotel also." Reid said before turning to face Emily. "If you need me call."

"I will; don't worry. I'll be fine." Emily said as she hugged him. Reid smiled back and then left. "Well it looks like it's just us."

"After you." Morgan smiled stepping out of Emily's way.

A couple hours later Emily watched at Morgan was at the bar getting himself another beer and her another diet coke. She was surprised how little temptation there was. She hadn't admitted it but she was a little nervous about coming. It was her first time in a bar since she became officially sober. It was amazing the motivation that a little ten week old baby could have.

"Here you go m'lady." Morgan teased. "One Diet Coke."

"Why thank you." Emily smiled as she took a sip. "So tell me Morgan, how are things between you and Garcia?"

"Good. Great actually." Morgan smiled. "Don't tell anyone but," Morgan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, "I bought this for her."

"Is that what I think it is?" Emily stared at the box in shock.

"Yep. I'm going to ask Garcia to marry me!" Emily was sure she had never seen Morgan this happy.

"Oh my god Morgan, congratulations." Emily said as she pulled Morgan into a hug.

"Thank you. Do you think she'll like it?" Morgan opened the box and revealed the one carat princess carat diamond solitaire.

"Oh Morgan, it's beautiful."

"I just hope she says yes." Morgan said as his nervousness crept back in.

"Like she would ever so no." Emily teased and Morgan smiled.

"I've been trying to figure out how to do it for a couple…" Morgan was cut off when the bartender put a beer down on the table.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but ma'am this is from the lady of there." She said pointing to a blonde sitting over by the bar. Emily turned to look at the woman who she had to admit was very attractive. The woman waved and Emily waved back.

"Well look at you Ms. Stud Muffin." Morgan teased. Emily simply rolled her eyes.

"Tell her while I appreciate the gesture I'm not interested." Emily said as she handed the waitress back the beer. "Plus I'm a recovering alcoholic, so if you could please take that away I would be very grateful."

"Of course. Like I said sorry to interrupt." The waitress took the beer and returned to bar to talk to the mystery lady.

"What are you doing Emily? Why did you tell her you weren't interested?"

"Because I'm not." Emily said looking at her ringless finger. It still felt odd to her to not being wearing her ring. Emily was never one for jewelry before they got married; but now after all these years, her hand felt empty without it.

"Emily, honey, you need to move on." Morgan said taking her hand.

"I don't want to move on. I love her and I don't want to be with anyone else." They sat there in silence for several minutes before Emily spoke again. "Did you know that I haven't been with another woman since that night you came to the house and kicked Lisa," Emily cringed just saying her name," out? And I can't ever remember the last time JJ and I made love." Emily said softly as she tried to remember the last time they had made love. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"That's… wow!" Morgan replied shocked at what he heard.

"And it's not like I haven't had the opportunity, obviously but I just can't bring myself to do it. I keep hoping that JJ's going to change her mind. Pretty pathetic uhn?"

"You're not pathetic Emily." Morgan wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Not pathetic at all." They sat there in silence for a few more minutes when they were once again interrupted; this time by the blonde woman herself.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to come over and make sure I didn't offend you or anything; make sure I didn't get this wrong." The blonde woman said.

"Um, well I'm going to go get another beer." Morgan said. "I'll leave you two ladies to talk." Morgan smiled ignoring Emily's death glare. Once Morgan was gone Emily had no choice but to talk to the mystery blonde woman.

"I didn't get this wrong right?" The woman asked again; clearly nervous that she had made a mistake.

"No. you didn't get it wrong." Emily said quietly.

"Oh thank god." The woman breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sort of new to this and well I thought you were but then I got nervous thinking I might have offended you or something. My name is April."

"I'm sorry April, you seem like a nice woman and you are very beautiful but I'm really not interested." Emily said trying not to hurt this woman's feelings, especially if she was new to the whole hitting on woman thing. "I'm sort of involved with someone."

"Sort of?" April asked; confused by Emily's statement.

"Well it's complicated." Emily said nicely, really wishing this woman would leave. "I'm sorry but I'm just going to find my friend; we have an early flight tomorrow." Emily as she stood up.

"Your friend seems rather occupied right now." April said as she grabbed Emily's hand. Emily looked up and sure enough Morgan was talking with a group of guys he met over at the bar. _Oh for the love of god, Emily groaned to herself. _"So why don't you just sit back down and relax a little." Emily realized as she felt herself being pulled back to the table that April still had a hold of her hand. It felt wrong. It felt… Emily wasn't sure what it felt like but it just felt wrong. Emily pulled her hand away quickly.

"Look April, I tried to be nice; but clearly you are not getting the hint. I'm not interested. I have someone that I love at home and a new son." Morgan having heard Emily raise her voice, quickly left the group at the bar and made his way back to Emily. "So if you will excuse me, I'm leaving. Alone!" Emily spat.

"Everything okay?" Morgan asked as he reached Emily's side.

"I'm ready to leave Morgan." Emily said trying not to let the tears fall.

"Of course." Morgan took Emily's hand and led her outside. "I'm sorry Emily, I just thought maybe it would be good for you to talk to someone."

"It's okay." Emily said wiping her tears away. "I just don't think I'm ready and I'm not sure I want to be either." Emily said softly as they made their way to the car.

A/N-So Emily can't move on…. um… wonder what that means for the last chapter…. lol….. PLEASE REVIEW….


	16. Chapter 16

A/N- Final Chapter…. so sad….. but I do plan on an epilogue posted soon (it will take place a couple years down the road…..)

A/N2- As much as I don't want to ruin the surprise, I have to give this warning…. THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M…. I REPEAT THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M.. if you don't like don't read…. I figured after all the angst my loyal readers deserved a bit of smut to complete the story (This is my first attempt at writing smut, as my usual smut writer is sick…..)

CHAPTER 16….

"You look nice tonight." Morgan said as JJ came out of the bedroom wearing a yellow sundress.

"Why thank you." JJ smiled as she finished putting in her ear rings.

"Emily nervous about tonight; I mean six months is a big deal."

"I think so; but she won't admit it. She pretty excited about Matthew being there though. She knows that he is too young to remember it, but she really wants him there."

"I think maybe you might have something to do with that." Morgan smirked.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked as she picked Matthew up and checked his diaper.

"Oh come on JJ. Surely you can't be that stupid?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." JJ replied as she put Matthew back in his playpen, satisfied with a dry diaper, at least for now.

"When are you two going to stop pretending that you still don't love each other?" Morgan asked standing up to walk over to JJ.

"I've moved on; she's moved on." JJ said softly. "She doesn't even wear her wedding ring any more." JJ said, as she remembered the first day that Emily walked into that apartment without it on. JJ wasn't sure why it bothered her so much; it wasn't like she had been wearing hers, but for some reason it did.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Morgan said, referring to the wedding rings. He knew for a fact that Emily still wore them both on her necklace; before he walked out of the room leaving a JJ to ponder what he meant.

Ten minutes later Emily arrived to pick JJ and Matthew up.

"Hey Emily, I'll just be a minute. Matthew needs to be changed." JJ said as she opened the door. At first Emily didn't respond. She was shocked by how beautiful JJ looked. "Everything okay Emily?" JJ asked once she realized that Emily was still standing at the door.

"Oh sorry, just kind of spaced out there for a minute." Emily smiled as she closed the door, only to run into Morgan, who was walking out of the kitchen.

"See something you like?" Morgan teased.

"Hush!" Emily snapped quietly; smacking Morgan on the back of the head. Emily left Morgan standing in the hallway rubbing his head and found her way to Matthew's room. "Hey little man." Emily smiled at seeing her son.

"You mind getting him re-dressed while I wash my hands?" Emily shook her head. "Okay well you do that and then we will be good to go." JJ smiled heading off to the bathroom.

"Hey big boy, how are you?" Emily cooed at her son. "Tonight is a big night for mommy. Six months and its all because of you." Emily smiled as she put his little shoes back on. Emily picked him up and walked into the living room to wait for JJ.

"I'm all ready." JJ smiled as she wrapped a shawl around her shoulders. Together the three of them left, leaving Morgan behind to only laugh.

"Clueless. Absolutely clueless." Morgan laughed to himself in the empty apartment.

Two hours later Emily and JJ were walking into Emily's house. Emily had decided that rather then go out to dinner, she would cook dinner at home. She figured it would be easier for Matthew who was still breast feeding and since she knew it would be late, she figured he would be tired. Sure enough while Emily was busy preparing dinner Matthew had gotten fussy so JJ excused herself to the bedroom to feed him. JJ would be the first to admit that being back in the house felt strange. On one hand it seemed very foreign to her but on the other hand it was like nothing had changed. There were still pictures of her and Emily on the walls and on the night stand beside the bed. JJ also noticed that there was all new bedroom furniture and bedding in the bedroom. Plus she would almost guarantee that there was a new mattress as well.

Once Matthew was done eating JJ slowly rocked him to sleep. Wishing that she had brought his playpen, JJ started to make her way back to the living room, when she noticed something strange in the office. She opened the door all the way and was shocked to see that the office was no longer an office. The office was now a nursery; a beautiful nursery that looked like something out of a catalogue. The walls were painted a deep blue with a sports themed wall paper border and various sports themed decals and pictures hanging on the walls. JJ couldn't help but notice that soccer seemed to be represented the most. The furniture was all white and was clearly expensive. JJ walked over to the crib and placed her son down on the sports themed bedding. She wiped a tear from her cheek as she rubbed her son's belly.

"What do you think little man?" JJ asked quietly as to not wake her sleeping son. "Mommy did good didn't she?" JJ took another look around the room in amazement. It was stunning. It was in that moment that JJ decided she was tired of pretending.

JJ picked up the baby monitor and made her way back to the kitchen were Emily was still busy cooking dinner. Emily looked up and smiled before realizing that someone was missing.

"Where's Matthew at?" Emily asked with a confused look on her face.

"In the nursery." JJ said holding up the baby monitor. It took Emily a second to register what JJ had said.

"Oh." Emily replied wiping her hands off and walking over to where JJ was leaning on the counter.

"It's beautiful; but when did you do that?"

"A couple weeks after he was born. I know we haven't really talked about custody or anything but I was kind of hoping that once you stop breast feeding I could take him once and while. You know like over night or for the weekend and if you agreed I figured he was going to need a place to sleep so…." Emily was cut off as JJ pushed her up against the wall and pulled her into a bone crushing kiss. For a second Emily wasn't sure what was going on; but quickly she wrapped her arms around JJ's waist pulling her closer. Neither woman could help the moan that escaped there mouth's as they battled for dominance. Finally both were forced to pull apart for lack of air.

"Oh god Jennifer." Emily moaned as she rested her forward against JJ's. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

"No you are definitely not dreaming." JJ responded breathlessly.

"But why?" Emily said as she lifted her head up and looked into JJ's deep blue eyes. "I screwed this…."

"Look Emily, I know that you screwed up; but you are not the same person you were a year ago. Look at what all you have accomplished. You are six months clean, to which I couldn't be any more proud of you if I tired. You got the help you needed for the rape and you are there for your son." JJ said as a tear ran down her cheek. "I don't want to pretend like I still don't love you. Our son needs both of his mothers and you need your son. I don't know what it was about seeing that nursery but I realized as I watched him sleep in his crib that I want us to be a family. I want to Matthew to grow up knowing that he is loved by both of his parents. I love you so much and as much as I have tried to let that go I can't."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that." Emily said with her own tears running down her face. "I love you too. I never stopped loving you. I know that I have made a lot of mistakes in the past but I promise you that you and Matthew are all that matter to me now. I will never do anything to screw this up again. When you got shot and I realized that I might loss you, it wasn't sure how I was going to go on. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes." That was all it took for JJ to push her up against the wall again and pull her into another passionate kiss.

JJ finally stepped back and for a moment Emily began to panic; but all it took was one look in JJ's eyes to see that she had no intention of stopping, that this was merely a pit stop. Slowly and with expert precision, JJ began to undo the buttons on Emily's top. JJ never broke eye contact with Emily while she slowly made her way down the front of Emily shirt; allowing her hands just a slight brushing of the smooth skin underneath. Emily couldn't help the groan that escaped her mouth everything JJ touched her skin. Just the slightlest touch was sending shock waves of heat racing through Emily's body.

Once JJ reached the final button she ran her hands back up Emily's chest and pushed the shirt off of her shoulders; revealing a deep purple lace bra. JJ couldn't help but groan at the sight.

"God Emily you're even more beautiful than I remember." JJ groaned; her voice was thick with want and desire. JJ looked at the necklace that was around Emily's neck and smiled. "I thought you stopped wearing yours." JJ said as she picked the necklace up in her hand.

"I tried but it just felt wrong."

"Can I?" JJ asked and Emily nodded. JJ reached up behind Emily and undid the necklace, letting the rings fall into her hand. She picked up Emily's left hand and slipped her ring back on her finger. Then JJ slid her ring back on her finger. "Is that better?" JJ asked. Emily looked down at the rings and then pulled JJ into another kiss as she let her shirt fall the rest of the way to the ground. JJ pulled back slightly as she kissed down Emily's jaw line, down her neck and then worked her way towards Emily's bra clad breast. JJ slid her left hand up Emily stomach and just as she reached Emily's breast, her mouth found the other one.

"Oh god baby!" Emily yelled as JJ sucked on her right breast through her bra, while JJ's hand massaged the left one. JJ continued this pattern for what seemed like a life time. As if in a daze Emily watched as JJ took another stop back and pulled Emily towards the kitchen table. Once at the table JJ make quick work of Emily's pants.

"Stunning, simply stunning." JJ smiled as she looked at Emily, standing there in nothing but her bra and matching panties.

"You see something you like?" Emily smirked back, finally able to find her voice.

"Oh honey, that is a sight I never get tired of seeing." JJ said as she eyed Emily from head to toe. JJ took a step forward and pushed Emily onto on the chairs. Once Emily was seated JJ, pulled up her sundress and then straddled her lap. "Do you feel that?" JJ asked as she ground her hips into Emily's. Even through the fabric Emily could feel how wet JJ was. "You made me that way. Only you!" JJ whispered into her ear.

"God JJ, I love you so much."

JJ reached behind Emily and undid her bra; Emily let out a sigh as JJ removed the offending article of clothing from her chest. Once again JJ's lips found Emily's breasts while the other hand inched it's way closer to a much lower destination.

"Fuck Jennifer!" Emily groaned as she felt JJ's tongue twirl circles around her hard nipple. JJ loved the way that Emily called her Jennifer. No one ever called her Jennifer; she had always hated it as a child, but for someone reason coming from Emily's mouth only turned her on more. "Please Jennifer don't stop." Emily screamed as JJ bit down gently on her nipple. Emily whimpered when she felt JJ's mouth leave her breast. JJ peppered Emily's stomach with kisses as she worked her further south. As JJ worked her way down she slowly moved from Emily's lap and kneeled down in front of her. On instinct Emily raised her hips to allow JJ's hands to pull off her last remaining piece of clothing. Once they were gone, JJ made the painfully slow trek up Emily's leg. JJ stopped and placed a gentle kiss on her curls before repeating the action up the other leg. Emily wasn't sure if she was in heaven or hell. "Please baby!! I can't take it any more!" Emily begged. Emily let out a scream as JJ ran her tongue up Emily's slit.

"You're going to have to keep it down, we don't want to wake up Matthew." JJ snickered as she repeated her action. Emily bit down on her lip to keep from screaming out again. JJ pushed Emily's legs further apart and began to gently suck on her clit.

"GOD!! JENNIFER!!" Emily screamed as she came hard and fast. Leaving JJ to lap up her reward. However before Emily could completely recover JJ slipped two fingers deep inside her. "OH GOD!" Emily yelped at the very welcome intrusion. Emily was sure she was going to explode as JJ's thumb began rubbing circles on her clit; while JJ's fingers were anything but still. She slowly began to pump her fingers in and out; all the while curling them just like she remembered Emily loved.

"You like that baby?" JJ asked as she watched Emily wither in the chair.

"God yes! More! Please baby more!" JJ did as requested and forced another finger deep inside of her wife. "OWWWW!" Emily groaned in pleasure.

"Cum for me baby!" JJ urged Emily on as she continued to pump harder and faster. JJ could tell that Emily was close as her walls pulsated around her fingers.

"YES! BABY YES!!!! FUCK!!!!!" Emily yelled. JJ moved her lips to Emily and pulled her into a kiss as Emily screamed through her second orgasm of the night. This one even more powerful than the first. JJ slowed her movements and then slowly pulled her hand up to her own mouth and licked her hand clean.

"Ummmm just like I remember." Emily groaned at the sight.

"Fuck… that … was… amazing." Emily said threw her ragged breathing.

"Emily take me to our bed and make love to me." The use of the word 'our' did not fail to catch Emily's attention. Wordlessly Emily picked a still fully clothed JJ up in her arms and carried her to their bedroom. Emily sat her down on the ground just at the edge of the bed. JJ reached up behind her and with a simple flick of the wrist her sun dress floated to the ground. Emily stared in awe of the sight in front of her. Emily could see the noticeable wet spot in the front of JJ's panties, as well as two wet spots in the front of JJ's bra.

"Sorry I'm leaking a little." JJ said with just a hint of embarrassment as she could see Emily eyeing her breast.

"Don't apologize. It's natural and if I must say… incredibly, fucking hot!" Emily smirked and JJ blushed. JJ undid her bra and then climbed onto the bed. Emily looked down at JJ for a few seconds as she let the moment sink in. Having JJ basically naked on her bed was something she never thought she would get to see again and she was determined to enjoy every last minute of it. Emily let her eyes wonder over JJ's body, but her eyes kept coming back to JJ's much fuller breasts. "You're beautiful." Emily said staring at her wife. "So fucking beautiful." With that Emily lunged onto the bed pushing JJ onto the mattress. Emily's lips immediately went to JJ's breast. While her hand went to teasing JJ through the fabric of her panties. Emily eagerly lapped up the dripping breast milk, somewhat surprised by it's sweet taste. It was a flavor that she knew she would crave from now on; a flavor that was distinct to JJ. "Tastes so good baby." Emily mumbled not wanting to break away from what she was doing, as more milk leaked out.

"God Emily. Please!"

"Please what?" Emily teased.

"I want to feel you inside of me, please Emily!"

"Your wish is my command." Emily smirked. as she left JJ's breast and kissed her way down JJ's scar. The scar ran down the middle of JJ's chest. Emily knew that JJ was self-conucious about the scar; however for Emily it was just a reminder of how close she came to losing everything. Feeling Emily kiss the scar sent shock waves through JJ's body. Emily continued to work her way down JJ's stomach, peppering kisses along the edge of JJ's panties. Emily made quick work of of JJ's panties and quickly slipped two fingers deep insider her.

"GOD EMILY!!!! RIGHT THERE!!" JJ screamed as she felt Emily's long fingers move deep within her.

"Better keep it down, or you'll wake up Matthew." Emily teased as she repeated JJ's early warning.

"Quit teasing and fuck me!" JJ snapped as Emily sped up her ministrations and added a third finger. Emily took JJ's clit in her mouth and began to suck all the while pounding JJ faster and faster. "I'm so close. God Emily don't stop." JJ groaned as she could feel the fire beginning to pool in her belly. Emily took JJ's clit in her teeth and that was all it took to send JJ flying over the edge. "AWWWW BABY!!!!!"

Emily repeated JJ's earlier action by pulling her hand to the mouth and licking them clean. Then Emily leaned over and licked up the new breast milk that had leaked out; before pulling JJ into a kiss. Both women groaned as they could taste each other on their lips.

"I love you so much Jennifer. I'm so sorry for everything." Emily said as she rolled over of JJ and pulled her close to her.

"I love you too and I think its time we just started anew. A whole new life together for just you, me and Matthew."

"I like the way that sounds." Emily smiled as she gave JJ a quick kiss on her bare shoulder. With dinner long forgotten, it didn't take long for both women to drift off to sleep.

Several hours later, Emily awoke to the sound of the crying coming from the baby monitor. Once she extracted her self from JJ, she found a pair of sweats and sweatshirt and made her way to her son's room.

"Hey little man what's wrong?" Emily asked softly as she picked Matthew up. It didn't take long for Emily to find the reason behind the cries. One very nasty diaper! A slight wave of panic swept over her as she realized that while she had changed him before, this was her first solo attempt. She gathered everything she needed and started the task at hand. Emily was so involved in the diaper change that she didn't even notice JJ leaning against the door frame. Once she was done she looked down at her son and smiled. "See that wasn't so bad, was it?" Emily grinned as she picked him up. "I'm sure I used way more wipes that I needed too and I'm sure it's not nearly as good as mommy does it but I'm still learning." Emily teased as she tickled Matthew's belly.

"Aww well practice makes perfect." JJ said causing Emily to spin around to look at her. JJ pushed herself off the door frame and Emily noticed that she was wearing some of her old clothes that Emily still had hanging in the closet. "And trust me you are going to be getting all sorts of practice." JJ replied as she walked over and wrapped her arms around both Emily and Matthew.

"I didn't wake you did I?" Emily asked.

"It's okay." JJ smiled looking down at her son, wrapped tightly in Emily's arms. "I didn't want to miss your first solo diaper change." JJ teased. "Plus I needed to get my phone."

"Your phone?" Emily asked.

"I thought I better call Morgan before he got worried."

"Oh." Emily frowned as she realized that JJ still lived with Morgan.

"He had sent me text earlier that I missed though."

"Oh really what did it say?" Emily asked.

"He asked if I was planning on coming home tonight." JJ grinned, but Emily failed to notice.

"Well I know that it's late but I can drive…" Emily was cut off when JJ put her finger on her lips.

"I told him that I was already home." JJ smiled. It took Emily as a second to process what JJ said; but when she did, she broke out into a huge grin herself. "I'm not going anywhere." JJ leaned up and gave Emily a gentle kiss, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby in her arms. Emily put Matthew back down on his bed and pulled JJ into a hug.

"You don't know how wonderful that sounds." Emily smiled.

"Good, now I think it's time for desert." JJ smirked.

"Desert? But we haven't even had… oh you mean desert." Emily laughed as she wagged her eyebrows. JJ nodded and pulled Emily back to their bedroom.

The next morning Emily woke up to see JJ still wrapped tightly in her arms. She offered god a silent thank you for not having this be some sort of twisted dream. That this was real.; that JJ was really here. Emily thought back over the past year and half and realized how blessed she truly was. She found an amazing friend in Hotch and a dedicated 'sponsor' in Reid; but most importantly she found her wife again. She found a family and she was determined to never take that for granted again.

A/N- Okay so there it is… What do you think???? Like I said there will be one more chapter set a few years down the road…. Should be up soon… PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	17. Chapter 17

A/N- Alas this story comes to an end…. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed… your reviews were much appreciated. I hope everyone enjoyed this story; I know that I enjoyed writing it….

ENJOY….

2 years and 3 months later……

"Ok I need just one more big push JJ." Dr. Williams said with a smile.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this again!" JJ screamed in pain as she began to push. Emily decided it was best to leave the fact that this was actually JJ's idea alone for the time being.

"You can do it sweetie." Emily said as she let JJ squeeze her hand. JJ gave a last effort push and suddenly the sounds of a crying baby filled the room.

"Congratulations Moms! It's a girl!" Dr. Williams beamed as she wrapped the baby in a pink hospital issue blanket and handed her to the nurse. "Okay, I know that you are tired but I'm going to need to you get ready and push again. JJ groaned at just the thought of this.

"This is all your fault Emily Elizabeth Prentiss!" JJ hissed through gritted teeth.

"I know sweetie, but I am so proud of you." Emily smiled as she looked back and forth between her daughter and her wife. "Just another few minutes and we will have both of our little girls."

"You are so lucky that I LOVE YOU!!" JJ screamed as another contraction ripped through her body.

"Okay JJ push!" Dr. Williams said as she prepared for the second baby to be born.

Emily stood there in amazement as she watched JJ deliver their second baby girl. She couldn't believe how lucky she was and how wonderful things had turned out. JJ officially moved back in the day after Emily received her six month sober coin and since then things had been perfect. On Emily's one year sober anniversary she and JJ renewed their vows in front of their family and friends. Then on Matthew's first birthday JJ suggested that they start the process of having another baby. Emily was more than happy to agree, seeing how she missed most of the first pregnancy. However, both women were shocked when ten months later they discovered JJ was pregnant with twins.

_Flashback…_

_"Ok lets check the baby's heart beat." Dr. Williams stated as she put the pushed around on JJ's stomach and until she found the beat. "Well I guess that explains the high hormone levels." Dr. Williams smiled. _

_"What's wrong? High hormone levels? You never said anything about her levels being high." Emily said as she began to panic. _

_"Everything is fine." Dr. Williams flipped the speakers on and the sound of the heart beat filled the room. Emily stood there in awe of her child's heart beat; however JJ immediately noticed a difference. _

_"Why does it sound funny? It doesn't sound like it did with Matthew." Emily hated that she didn't know that, it just reminded her of all the things she missed. "Are you sure there is nothing wrong?"  
"I'm positive there is nothing wrong. What you are hearing is two heart beats instead of one." Dr. Williams set back and waited for the new information to sink in. _

_"Wait, what??" JJ asked confused. "Why would you be able to hear my… oh my god!" _

_"What?" Emily asked still confused. _

_"Are you serious?" JJ asked and Dr. Williams nodded. _

_"Would someone tell me what the HELL is going on?" Emily all but yelled. _

_"Congratulation Emily, you and JJ are having twins!" Dr. Williams said with a slight laugh just seconds before Emily hit the floor. _

The sound of another baby screaming brought Emily out of her day dream. Emily watched as the nurse took the new baby over to the table and began getting her measurements.

"Oh my god JJ they are beautiful. They're perfect!" Emily smiled as she leaned over and kissed JJ lightly on the cheek. A few seconds later the nurse handed one baby to JJ and the other to Emily. Both women were lost in the moment, just staring into their daughter's eyes.

"Would you like me to send your team in?" Dr. Williams asked.

"Yes please. I know they are dying to meet them." Emily smiled.

Not ten minutes later the team was pushing their way through the door to JJ's room. Before Emily could react her daughter had been plucked from her arms by a very happy and joyous Garcia.

"Oh my, she is beautiful." Garcia gushed over her god daughter.

"They both are." Morgan added sitting on the edge of JJ's bed. "You did good girl." He smiled as he leaned over and kissed JJ's forehead.

"Now will you please tell us their names? I'm dying here." Garcia groaned. Garcia had been upset, no more like pissed, when JJ and Emily told everyone that they were not going to tell everyone the names of the twins until after they were born. Emily had wanted it to be a surprise; but Garcia was just down right insulted.

_Flashback…_

_"What do you mean you aren't going to tell us the babies' names?" Garcia demanded to know. _

_"Now honey that is their right." Morgan tried to calm down his wife. _

_"YOU," Garcia pointed at her husband, "stay out of this!" Morgan held up his hands in surrender. After a year of marriage he knew better than to argue when she was like this. "I'm waiting!" Garcia demanded. _

_"We want it to be a surprise for everyone." Emily said suddenly afraid that her children might grow up without a mother. Emily had never seen Garcia this angry. Emily moved so that she was standing behind JJ. She knew Garcia wouldn't hurt her. _

_"Coward." JJ teased as Emily pushed her towards Garcia. "Now listen Garcia, we already told you we are having twins and we told you that they are both girls; why do their names matter?" _

_"Because I want to KNOW!" Garcia shouted. "I know everything and this is just unacceptable." _

_"Oh for heaven sakes Garcia, you can go three more months and find out like everyone else."_

_"Why can't you just tell me? I won't tell anyone." Garcia said batting her eye lashes at her best friend. _

_"Honey, I love you like a sister, but that's a load of crap and you know it. If we tell you then it will be all over the FBI by noon. Hell you'll have it Facebook before we even finish the conversation." Garcia opened her mouth to defend herself but realized that sadly JJ was right. _

"Well, you Mrs. Morgan are holding Andrea Jareau Prentiss." Emily stated proudly as she wrapped her arm around Mrs. Andrews; the women who had become a surrogate mother to every member of the team. Mrs. Andrews who was holding 2 and ½ year old Matthew smiled and nodded her appreciation. "And JJ is holding Erin Elizabeth Prentiss." Emily said looking up at Hotch who looked shocked.

"Did you just say… I mean … I don't know what to say." Hotch stuttered through his words. "Thank you, that means a lot. I'm truly honored."

"Well we figured that we should name them after two of the most important people in our lives." Emily smiled as Garcia placed Andrea back in her arms.

"So does this mean the next time you have a boy you will name him after me?" Morgan asked as he ran his finger down Erin's cheek.

"Morgan you had better be glad that I am holding my daughter right now, because if I wasn't I would kick your ass. I can guarantee you we," JJ said pointing back and forth between herself and Emily, "are not having any more children. I am done. Not that I don't love my children, but I am done!" JJ stated firmly.

"Well Emily could always carry the next one." Morgan said matter of factly.

"Garcia do you mind, I have my hands full." Emily said turning to Garcia who more than gladly walked over and slapped her husband upside the head.

"HEY! What was that for?" Morgan asked rubbing the back of his head while everyone else laughed.

"Seriously Morgan have you met my wife?" JJ asked still laughing. "Do you honestly see her pregnant?" Morgan gave Emily a good once over and laughed.

"I guess not."

Later that night Emily sat there holding a sleeping Erin in her arms while JJ fed Andrea; the team had long since gone, while Morgan and Garcia had taken Matthew with them.

"They really are beautiful, aren't they?" JJ asked as Andrea continued to feed.

"Gorgeous." Emily replied looking down at Erin. "I still can't believe that we have two little girls. I mean I thought our lives were pretty great with Matthew but now, it's just… it's perfect." Emily smiled looking of over at JJ.

"I know."

"I can't believe how close I came to losing all of this." Emily said quietly as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I'm still afraid this is all a dream and that I'm going to wake up and find out that it's not true."

"Honey come here." JJ motioned for Emily to join her on the bed. "It's not a dream. This is real. I love you; your son loves and now your daughters love you." JJ said as wiped away Emily's tears with her free hand. "And none of us are going anywhere."

"It's just I can't believe how stupid I was."

"You were hurting. We all do stupid things when we are hurting. I can't imagine what you went through in that compound and I have no idea how I would have reacted if the situation had been reversed. I would like to sit here and say that I would have come to you and we would have dealt with it together, but I can't say that for certain. You made some bad choices, plain and simple; but I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same. All you can do now is learn from those mistakes."

"Yeah, but I hate that I hurt you. Seeing everything you had to go through with this pregnancy made me realize what all I missed and what all you went through by yourself with Matthew."

"Honey, you have got to forgive yourself for what happened. I have." JJ said a she grabbed Emily's free hand. "I forgave you a long time ago; you need to do the same."

"I love you so much. You know that right?"

"I know you do and I have no worries that what happened in the past will happen again, you know why?" Emily shook her head. "Because of Matthew, Andrea and Erin; you love your children too much to ever fall into that again."

"And you, don't forget you." Emily smiled. "I don't want to lose you Jennifer."

"And you never will." JJ said with a tear in her eye. She looked down at her bracelet that Emily had given her before Matthew was born. However, now the single sapphire was joined by two small rubies. It was even more beautiful than it was when she first gave it to her.

"You know when I bought you that, I never thought I would get to add two more stones to it." Emily smiled as she saw what JJ was looking at.

"Me either; but here we are." JJ smiled as she looked back at her daughter in her arms. "It's been a long road but so worth the journey."

"Well there is several months in there I could have done with out." Emily frowned. "And I'm not just talking about the rape, I'm talking about all the crap I did afterwards."

"Well I wouldn't; those months, as bad as they were, made you who you are today. You are stronger for having made it though."

"Well one thing is for sure. It made me realize what I had and what I almost lost." Emily said softly as she ran her finger down her daughter's cheek. "I don't think I can ever thank you enough for what you have done for me, what you have given me."

"I could say the same thing about you." JJ smiled. "I never truly thought of myself as having a family and now I have three beautiful children and a wonderful wife."

"I will second that." Emily said with a slight chuckle. "Our little family is complete." Emily said as she carefully leaned over and gave JJ a simple, but passionate kiss.

A/N- PLEASE REVIEW!!!


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